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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How long is your commute? How do you commute? That matters.

I had a lot of resentment in the early years because my husband didn’t seem to understand that I had a hard stop every day to leave work at get to daycare. He didn’t work super late, but he could take the extra 15-30 min to finish up an email or type up notes from a meeting before leaving. When you have a job where you aren’t clocking in and out for a set shift, you don’t realize how flexible the last 20 min of your day are until you are like Cinderella at midnight only it’s 5pm sharp and daycare.

If you drive and the commute is long, one or both of you can rearrange meetings to have one on one checkpoints while you drive. If you can work remotely, your husband can leave early and take the 4:30pm call from the daycare parking lot. You both need to get creative.

If you are taking time away from work to pump, [b]I would argue that he can rearrange his 4:30 meeting [/b]until you are done pumping and then you can both figure out an alternative schedule one day a week. [/quote]

He can?

Maybe.   But OP's Dh isn't having a meeting all by himself.    The meetings involve his co-workers, who have planned THEIR schedule and other meetings and work obligations  around this meeting.   So they may have to change around multpile aspects of their schedule.   And then the other people involved in THOSE meetings may also have to change things around.   It can be a huge domino effect and ultimately  you could have people five degrees removed from OP's husband having to completely blow up their schedule, all so one baby (that they never heard of and will never meet) won't have to spend an extra hour in daycare.

But it's really nice of you to determine that all these people you don't know should do that....because OP's baby is the center of the universe.[/quote]

You’ve never had a meeting change? They are all rigid and set in stone? WTF[/quote]

Some are and some aren't. The department all hands meeting is set in stone (but it wouldn't be held that late in the day). There's another meeting I sit in on hosted by another department. I wouldn't dream of asking them to change that for me. Then there's the weekly meeting hosted by my supervisor for our team. I guess I could ask for that to be changed to accommodate my schedule, and my supervisor is nice and would probably do it, but I would be very hesitant to make everyone on my team change their schedule for me. If it were a meeting between me and two other same-level colleagues, sure, I would ask to change it.

OP's DH flexes and leaves early 4 days out of 5, so that's pretty clearly his preference. But he has never changed that particular meeting to go with the rest of his schedule - so yes, I'd assume that he considers that meeting fairly set in stone and had already considered (pre-baby) the idea of just asking to move it to a different time. Other people have their own issues - therapy appointments, yoga classes, childcare pickup, doctor's visits. If he wants to move the "Thursday from 3:30 to 4:30 PM" meeting, then the team might move it to the same time on a different day which doesn't solve OP's problem, or they might have to make it later in the day because other people also have to pick up their kids at that time. This is more an issue of whether DH wants to risk his flexibility by saying "I must be able to leave by 3:30 every day." OP says he already does that *most* days but it sounds like he doesn't want to rock that boat.[/quote]

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