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[quote=Anonymous]Have any of you said, listen, we need to work on this marriage or end it? It's the passive resentment building on the one side and on the other the checked out spouse thinkng it's status quo that causes divorce. I think a lot of these spouses if told, listen, I made an appt for a counselor or a sex therapist or whatever and we need to work on things or it's done, would wake up and try to improve things. As I understand it, in divorce, the leaver has decided years ago that the situation is done, and the left thinks that they are both at least tolerating the current deal. The left often is jolted into wanting to save the marriage, while the left has been done for years and what may have been seen as depression was grieving leaving the kids for the final year. Take some responsibility and speak up before more time passes. Not asking for sex but saying, this no disconnect on so many levels needs to change. Let's go on a vacation, just us. Then let's try counseling when we are back. That, not sublimating or being a martyr, is acting in the best interests of your kids.[/quote]

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