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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]no our kids do not know but they know that mom goes out with friends to do things because dad is a homebody and doesn't like to go out[/quote]

Open only for you or also DH? [/quote]

Mutually open, [b]he just doesn't date or have interest in dating people.  He isn't going to give any woman he meets the quality time and the kind of connection most women will want.[/b]  Same problem we had that got us here to begin with.  When we have talked about how things are going he has shared that he has hooked up with people when out of town at college reunions or when on travel.  His happy place is just working, taking care of his kids, getting some low effort sex and being left alone otherwise.  [b]I've opted out of being his low effort easy access orfice[/b] and am enjoying having companionship and conversation and others things that I need while dating and being seen as a whole interesting fun human to hang out with again. [b] I've actually tried to help give him advice to help him out on the dating scene[/b] but women and relationships are clearly not a priority to him beyond fulfilling a functional physical need periodically.

[/quote]
Ummm…what? All of this sounds miserable. It’s good you’re keeping this from your kids, though. Yikes.[/quote]

it definitely was while being loyal and trying to get basic relationship needs met from him for many years that he refused to give (or was incapable of...there is past trauma he hasn't healed from in his life) but we are happier now this way
we relate better now in a friendly way, family dynamic is healthier and the kids feel that and see us having happier and less resentful energy around each other
not selling it to anyone, it isn't something I would say is ideal and this wasn't my dream life but doing what works for us for now

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