Reply to In-laws being pushy about visiting.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP will be posting a year from now one of those every-other-day posts about how exhausted she is and how she has family nearby but they’re just awful people who won’t help out. You make your bed…[/quote]

I will not.  This is my third kid and I am well-aware of the challenges involved in parenting small children.[b]  None of our family is local.  [/b]The answers on this thread are absurd, but I guess that’s what I get for crowd-sourcing a personal challenge with anonymous keyboard warriors.

Really insightful to see how many people think the comfort, wants, and needs of grandparents should trump the wishes of the parents/health of the newborn infant, particularly in this day and age.[/quote]

This is key.  You already know that you don't have the family support so you don't count on it.  Everyone here is assuming the very worst of family.  You are seeing everything through a very negative and unkind light.  If grandparents want to see and cuddle the grandbaby that is een as being "pushy" and "selfish"  Why is that?  And if someone dares gently ask you if they could come and meet their grandbaby ...to give the baby love that is seen as pushing boundaries.  Even though for thousands of years people have been giving birth and welcoming babies with the support of their families.

To be clear, I am not suggesting that the families in any way impose on the new family and if they overstay their welcome or make more work for the new mom that is clearly wrong.  But, there has to be a balance between pushing family related to your child and allowing them to push over you.  Again, you are not the first person to give birth but, if you push people away expect them to want to stay away.[/quote]

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