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[quote=Anonymous]If this happened yesterday, I might give him some grace. When you’re far away and others are close it can be hard to know what to do and people aren’t necessary in their right mind. He may be thinking “if she’s in the hospital, there’s not much I can do - let me figure out my schedule and a longterm plan to get up there” or something along those lines. Not logical, but people don’t always behave logically. And sometime they need the local person to say “this is how it is, you really should come” even if it seems obvious to you while there,

I say this as someone who is currently negotiating a dying parent with my numerous siblings and stepmother. We all love my dad dearly and are pausing our lives to care for him but in different ways. There’s one in the group who has been acting very frustratingly but I’ve come to understand they are just ill equipped to deal with end of life issues and in a bit of denial. I had to spell it out for her: “dad likely has less than a week left, when he asks you for your time, maybe you should just give it.” That was a wake up call for them - she was in denial.

It’s been baffling, and hard, but giving people some grace - while being straight with what you think is needed as the one closest to the situation - is ultimately going to serve everyone better than judgement.[/quote]

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