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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Other advice: asd should marry asd or not marry. Do not have children; they require tons of work and tons of care and tons of verbal communication/connecting.[/quote]

my in laws are on the spectrum.....I am still shocked at the risks and sheer negligence that my asd husband and his siblings lived through..... It was not healthy, and set up a series of bizarre contexts that compounded his social shortcomings. [/quote]

Agree. It’s scary. The mindlessness, carelessness, and thoughtlessness is non-stop.

No seatbelts, fingers smaller in doors, too hot or food given to toddlers, lost track of time, bathtubs never drained for 2yo, not age appropriate outings, equipment, bikes, movies, books, zero conversations, no teaching moments, leaves meals out on the table for young kids like they’re dogs that eat my themselves, burning themselves making s’mores with no supervision, etc.

It’s to bad the family court system here doesn’t give two Fs about negligent incapable parent. [/quote]

This is precisely why I am sticking with the "marriage" and trying to find my own space and healing, create a separate space within to raise our children and help them understand what they are seeing and experiencing. Shared custody would be 10000x worse nightmare.

Ultimately, the ASD spouse is happier tracking separately anyway.

And fingers crossed / knock on wood, after about 18 months of tweaks, I am finding our home is much calmer. [/quote]

Ditto. Trapped here as well. Looking for a kid-safe time to pull the ripcord. [/quote]

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