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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I know you want your mom there, but I think it's also very important that you and DH learn how to handle your baby by yourselves a bit as well. It sounds like your husband's issue is that your mom gets to spend the night and his mom has to stay in a hotel. I would ask him how he felt about NO parental sleepovers - your parents at their house and his parents in a hotel or at your parents' house or something. That way you guys get some down time and alone time and all the grandparents are included in the new baby and maybe get to bond together as a grandparently unit over dinner or something when you kick them out to wander around topless. (For the record, I never did that once we came home. You might, but you might not. I would not use "but your dad will see my nipples" as a reason his parents cannot stay over, lest it backfire and he hold it over your head for the rest of your lives.)

After my daughter was born, I wanted my mom around, but mostly, I wanted to learn how to parent with my husband. Those nights we were up together when she was just a few days old were very, very special and I'm glad that mostly, it was just us. I think that during this time, you two should be turning to each other, not to your parents. If the parents all sleep somewhere else, they will still get plenty of time during the day (and you can take a shower! glorious!). Try to reframe the conversation not as a competition between grandparents but as a special time of bonding for a new family unit, with doting relatives looking on from the sidelines.[/quote]

This is my advice -- you really will need some time that is just for you, your husband and baby. You are both becoming parents and you should have some time to yourselves as a family. If your mom is local she will see the baby a lot and has a place to stay at night. Have her come over all day or whatever. Tell the in laws to get a hotel and come over during the day. Do not feel like you have to feed and/or host anyone. They are all adults and can take care of themselves while you heal and nurse. You will probably find that your MIL, and for that matter, your mother, does not remember how difficult the first few days/weeks are. I think we are wired to forget actually. So they need to be there to help you, and that means understanding if you need time alone. I found the post-partum period to be incredibly stressful and difficult, and was in no shape to be dealing with people staying at my house. [/quote]

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