Reply to S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These comments are sad. A lot of women don’t know what we want sexually because we are conditioned from young ages to prioritize the man’s satisfaction. Our general definition of sex is basically a man having an O. We don’t focus a lot on our own pleasure and are often quite detached from it, especially if we grew up in a culture that wasn’t sex-positive for girls. I think if we could just learn, without shame, more about our own bodies and what kinds of situations are best for our pleasure, it would be better for marriages but more importantly for us. [/quote]

I definitely think women don't know what they want sexually, should focus on that, and should communicate what they want. I'm not sure I agree that women are conditioned to prioritize what men want sexually. I'm a data point of one, but I don't know that I've ever experienced a woman being all that focused on my sexual satisfaction. I think a lot of men have the same experience as me. I think women are shamed and taught to be reticent about sex, so they really aren't prioritizing anyone's sexual satisfaction -- his or hers. [/quote]

Imagine a sexual experience in which your partner had an orgasm, but you didn’t, maybe because she just wasn’t that great at figuring out how to make you O, so you stop and say, hey, it’s fine, let’s just move on with our day.

Most people, men and women, would think that’s really weird. That wouldn’t even count as sex. But with the sexes reversed, that is what sex is frequently like for a good number of women. Sex basically equals a man’s pleasure and hers is a bonus but not required. That’s what I mean by women are conditioned to focus on a man’s pleasure . [/quote]

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