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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good luck, PP. I am similar to you but have a demanding career. No one knew that this happened and all I could do was keep working. I actually switched jobs A few months after I found out. In some ways, my job was so hard - all the meetings and stress and people leaning on me for their work woes. But in other ways, it gave me hours in the day that I had no time to feel the raw pain of what dh had done to me.  I wish you luck in your job search![/quote]

I wish I had a career, a job! I think I would be flying from happiness that he's gone, if I had a career and stability of my own. He persuaded me to leave my legal job 10 years ago, promising bright future and happy retirement. And then he began an affair. [/quote]

I am so, so sorry, PP. I am a woman in a male dominated field and this is all too common a story. They get all the great benefits of a SAHM but shit all over them at the office and cheat constantly, particularly when traveling. Dogs. Go to the career forum and check out the threads on re-entering the workforce after many years out, if that is indeed what you might want to do. [b]It is inspiring! Your future might look different than what your husband promised you, but your story is not over. It might be better than you ever anticipated.[/b] [/quote]

This.

One thing I can say. The experience of being betrayed, and cutting all ties and moving on without resentment or hatred? It kept my heart open to love. It helped me differentiate with good character and made me discerning. My healing process qualified me in immeasurable ways. Don’t let this break you. Just break from his abuse and deathly spiral of deceit and confusion. Hold true to the real uou, somewhere there. This is not your fault. I felt humiliated too when I found out.

Now? If I hadn’t been through that horrifying experience I would not have been in the place and time I’m in now to have abundance of so many incredible things (career, wealth, health, friends and their success, healing, reaching others, and meeting someone who is steadfast and loyal, that is truly romantic and wants to share his heart with making communities better but his love with me? I could cry in gratitude. I could not have written this story if I tried.

You have to let go of the pain to receive the joy. Don’t let him ruin you forever by keeping that pain. You are stronger if you let it go. And you know what? God loves us, it does r even take long! The man I met 5 years ago who wouldn’t date me because my divorce wasn’t final? He is more beautiful than he was before, and so unexpected, we both met again with more education, more money, warmer hearts from managing tragedy the same. Even if this is just temporary for now, the fact that I can have gratitude is a gift.

Don’t let that nasty man steal your joy!! YOU DESERVE JOY. Don’t be afraid to believe. It is hard work, but it is worth it. You will always be better for it if you see it through and grace and love will carry you if you ask it to. Wisdom will guide you if you seek it and prioritize it’s application in your life.

My prayer is that the pain of your past is overcome, and it qualifies you for immeasurable and unstoppable sincere joy and blessing in so much abundance others have it just by being in your presence.

You’re strong, beautiful, kind, loving, and GOOD. You did nothing wrong by trusting and being honest. Your judgment isn’t off, you weren’t stupid.

He was a lie. Like the devil — nothing but a liar and a thief!!

Cry, yell, seethe — and when the time comes — let that pain go. If you hold on to it, he wins.

And we know he is a loser, so it would be a wasted score of a battle to still lose the war.

Much life and much love to you, sis.[/quote]

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