Reply to "Fast" kids -- how do they get that way?

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Reply to ""Fast" kids -- how do they get that way?"

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[quote=Anonymous]If by "fast" you mean the ones going off the rails - in my experience it has been the kids who A) are bored and B) are not being supervised well by their parents. Sure, all kids test the limits, and some will sneak out, try to circumvent parental rules, etc. Very normal.

In our extended family, the kids who have gone off the rails were, oddly enough, kids whose parents were super strict when they were small, then in the teenage years sort of threw their hands up and said "Well, we can't control them,  they are going to do what they're going to do..." As in, 14 year old says she's staying over at the house of friend whom Mom has never met, and Mom doesn't even attempt to check up on it. This is the same relative who told another cousin that she has been having sex since age 14 but her idea of BC is withdrawl, and to go to PP for a pregnancy test each month. Same family, older boys living in rural area, not involved in school activities, fell in with kids whose weekend entertainment was drinking and drugs. Again, not supervised. Kids were posting all kinds of shit on their IGs but parents never checked them, and were firmly in denial that anything was wrong. One has since been through four rehabs.

The parents were also of the "at 18, get a job, college or get out" but did little to really prepare the kids. College does not just magically happen. One kid was convinced he was going to University of Hawaii - parents had no money saved and the kid had subpar grades that would barely get him into a community college. Kids on the whole were told "school is all your responsibility" and guess what, left to their own devices, all but one bombed out. If you don't invest the time to prepare your teen for adulthood, not all of them are going to magically figure it out. They are going to operating at a deficit to the kids whose parents were more involved and hel them to certain standards. [/quote]

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