Reply to Coming to terms with your teen being unmotivated and unimpressive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I would ask yourself what he was like when he was very young. If he used to be super engaged and the sort of kid who always asked interesting questions, was busy "doing", thought deeply and wanted to "know more" than I would be very concerned. If he always seemed like a very "average" laidback, non competitive, not that curious person then maybe that's the way he is? Has he ever been tested for IQ, etc? Not saying you should if he hasn't but maybe he is just an average kid with no real strong interest in things beyond consuming what others do. I don't mean this rudely. My SIL is like this and I think always has been, based on my husbands memory, although she got decent grades and is a very nice person she was never the "star" at anything, she doesn't have that many interests beyond hanging out with friends and her family(her job is one that is not that intellectually stimulating but pays the bills), she has no "calling" or strong desire to create anything. She doesn't even like to cook. She is who she is and she found a husband who likes to "do" while she watches. They seem suited for each other.
I'm not like that and for years I thought she was very lame, frankly. But I've matured over time and come to "each their own" and BTW she seems happy enough. I've known her for over 20 years. Since she was 19.
I should add that her parents never put any pressure on her to "succeed". Neither did mine, but I have a number of innate "talents" and would feel profoundly unhappy if I never did anything creative and lived a life like my SIL. My husband also has an innate drive to do things and has been very successful in an entirely different field than I am.[/quote]

This sounds like it was written by my narcissistic sister-in-law about me, LOL!  I'll be over here enjoying my stable GS-14 job, my quiet life, and my husband's cooking.

All we know about OP's kid is that he spends too much time in front of the TV for her taste, does not meet her standards in terms of athletic prowess, and is medicated for ADHD.  I'm not sure why everyone thinks he is practically failing out of HS or doesn't want to go to college.  My lazy ADHD kid who is not gifted and has no interest in academics still got As and Bs (he took 5 APs instead of 15), a high ACT score (he didn't prep), and is pursuing his lone interest in college.   He became more involved near the end of HS  - don't give up on your kid.

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