Reply to Why do men assume their wife will become a SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Before we married, I was explicit that I wanted to keep working after kids and DH was on board.  Then we had kids and DH begged me to stay home.  I cut back, then SAH for a year, then went back PT and am now in a FT+ job because my company was acquired and I couldn’t stay PT.  Our lives are hectic and our home is filled with people - nanny, cleaning lady, grandparents helping. Things fall through the cracks, and neither of us is functioning at full capacity in these pandemic times.

I completely understand the simplicity and efficiency of having one parent stay home.  It doesn’t matter which; it’s just more efficient to specialize. And my DH is a full co parent, every bit as bonded and nurturing as I am. [/quote]

If you don't mind me asking, why  did your DH beg you to stay  home?[/quote]

He had a SAHM for a mom and he knew that our lives would be smoother and less stressful if I stayed at home. I would be kinda depressed, though, and my job is super interesting and pays well. We throw money at everything from cooking to childcare to housekeeping.  It takes a lot of arranging and logistics that are utterly foreign to the happy childhood he had. I know he wishes for a simpler arrangement. But we’re in it together and both happy enough.[/quote]

Did he care that you were depressed at home?  Did he push back on you returning to work becaue of your depression?  Did he consider that he could be the stay at home parent?[/quote]

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