Reply to 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, no one wants to parent this guy, and you just want to take out your resentment on him. And look, you have plenty of good reason to resent the spoiled brat.  But it’s his dad’s fault.  When he was 16 or 17, his dad should have taken him aside and said, “Look, you’re not a little kid anymore.  In our family, we give gifts to each other.  I expect you to be budgeting for at least a small gift for every member of the family.  That’s what we do.”

Sure, it should be obvious.  But when a kid has been spoiled all his life, you can’t put 100% of the blame on him for being entitled and selfish.

He’s lived with you for a full year in the past.  If no one is willing g to have an adult conversation with him, you should.  Call him up and say, “Look, Joey, I want to apologize for putting you on the spot at Grandma’s about presents.  It has frustrated me for years that you take gifts but don’t give them to anyone in your family, and I know it’s not really my place to say something, and I kind of snapped in frustration .  Thot wasn’t fair to you because there was nothing you could do on the spot to fix it.  But look, someone really should have said this to you years ago, so I’m just going to say it now.  You’re an adult.  All of the adults I. Your family give each other gifts at Christmas.  For next Christmas you should plan to give a gift to everyone on Christmas Eve.  I am sorry not one has ever told you that before.  It was wrong of me to say it the way I did the other night.”[/quote]

This! Apologize.   But don’t tell him he has to buy gifts for everyone. You can say, it would mean a lot to your grandparents to get a card, or something like that. Small shows of appreciation can be nice, but no need to enforce a tradition of buying things.[/quote]

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