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[quote=Anonymous]I could see my own Inlaws perceiving me this way and our relationship isn’t awesome but here perhaps is why she might be doing some of these things

- I don’t like my Inlaws visiting when I’m not around. Why? Bc my husband totally checks out and hands over all child related responsibilities to two people that don’t know the schedule, don’t know to watch the infant for putting the toddlers toys in his mouth, don’t make sure they get enough sleep etc.  I’m barely holding on right now and come home to exhausted off track toddlers and baby and I just can’t take on anymore. It’s DHs fault but the impact is I don’t want Inlaws around if it’s going to make everything 10x harder, in that stretched right now

- Inlaws have waaaay different boundaries about what information they should have.  After I miscarried they continually asked dh if I was “still bleeding” (how is that their business???) and during IVF they pried endlessly for info about me that I wanted to keep very private. Again a dh problem for not shutting that down, but it’s made me very paranoid / annoyed by their convos in general

- no amount of seeing us is enough and every trip is filled with guilt trips. They’re now guilting my 2yo about seeing them also.  We live states away and see them about 10x a year - it’s plenty! Whenever I try to crack open the door and let then in a little more, they take a mile. An invitation for a long weekend visit secretly turns into a week, inviting them to come by for dinner when they’re in town for work anyways turns into them staying for a weekend etc etc.  I never know what they’re actually going to sneak into doing or what they’re really asking for and they always have some scheme to get more so they get a lot of hard no’s bc if I say yes they don’t adhere to any sort of agreed to boundary

I could see from their perspective them saying I’m cold, get annoyed when they talk to their own son, don’t let them visit, supervise their interactions with the kids - and it’s all true! But there are reasons other than “im abusive”[/quote]

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