Reply to How do resolve - husband I disagree over childcare

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think OP is wrong for wanting as much help as possible, but I think she might be disappointed if she has a 24/7 nanny and only weekly housecleaning!  She needs a combination of a night nurse, a day nanny, a housekeeper, and ideally someone else to prepare meals (like delivered meal service, or chef that comes to your home once a week and prepares 4 days of food at once).  Honestly, OP, my advice is to make sure you outsource the drudgery and not the fun.[/quote]

And ignore the PPs who shame you for wanting help.  You have the money and honestly they don't understand what it's like to be in your situation.  Your traded a lot to have that income, it is clear.

I can also see some resentment of your DH OP in this request.  That is understandable, but just know it and own it.

I think you should be more strategic and get help that will last longer so you can stop being as resentful that your DH doesn't do anything.  Get a cleaner to come 3-4 times/week and have that person do laundry as well.  Get a part time nanny to come help with both the baby and the toddler alternating and keep that nanny going forward so you can regularly leave the house until both are in school.  I recommend looking for such a person now so it isn't a change when # 2 is born. And ask for a night nurse 3-4 times a week for 3 months or so.

Point out to your husband that you need this time to be in great shape and stay looking and feeling good to keep your family the way he envisioned.  I am guessing that is part of the bargain.  If you are home all day like he envisioned you are going to be frazzled and wearing sweats and will not be back at the gym.   But of course take some time for you.

And get a therapist to work on your feelings about #2 and your family. I'm not saying it's your fault, but it is true that you can't change your husband, only how you handle the situation.  Good luck![/quote]

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