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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So I'm pregnant with our second child. With our first I tried to be "super mom" and did not hire anyone until a few weeks in when I finally broke down and hired a night nurse a couple nights a week. My husband put up a big fight about this but I overruled him since he wasn't getting up at night (I nursed).

Anyway, this time around, I want to hire a 24/7 baby nurse for at least 3 months since we'll have a toddler to take care of too.

My husband doesn't want to hire anyone even though we can afford it. When I point out that I'm the one who is going to be doing all the work so I don't think it is something he should be able to just veto, he says "I'll help out more this time."

But realistically I don't see that happening.

Our HHI is ~ 775k so we can afford this luxury. I'm really anxious about what it's going to be like taking care of a toddler and a baby at the same time. I think knowing that I'll have this level of support will help calm me down. H doesn't want to spend the money on it though and says that we should just "power through."

How should we resolve this?[/quote]

Our HHI was similar to yours when our second was born and was significantly higher when our third was born.  DH and I both work, although I work part-time (4 days a week) and took 5 months of maternity leave with our second and six with our third.  When I was on leave with our second, we sent DC #1 (who was then 2.5) to the daycare he already attended two days per week and otherwise he stayed home.  We have always had a housekeeper who comes every other week.  Otherwise, we didn’t have any additional help.  When our third was born, the older two were in school (elementary and pre-k).  During my leave, we had a part-time nanny who worked about 12 hours a week (three mornings).  She helped with laundry, light housework, and making the kids’ lunches.  If I was up late with the baby, she would take the older two to school while I slept in.  Usually one day per week, she would watch the baby for about two hours while I dropped the older two off at school and ran to the gym.

I thought the level of help we had with #3 was perfect, and wish we would have had it with #2.  Since I nursed and had to wake up anyway, I don’t think I would have found a night nurse all that helpful.

24/7 care seems excessive.  I know a number of people whose HHI is similar to ours, and I don’t know anyone who had that level of help.  I’m also a very private person and would not want a non-relative in my house 24/7. It seems that getting some part-time help would be a reasonable compromise.[/quote]

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