Reply to Parents who don't intervene -- why not?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find the arguments being posed by non-toddler moms hypocritical honestly.

There is no way if you were in your own backyard with your own kids (ranging from crawling/walking-10 years old) and they were all playing on the swing set that you would not expect your older kids to watch out for the younger ones.

There is no way that if you are at someone else's house and they have a younger kid that you just expect the younger kid to stay out of your kids way.

If your kid can watch out for their sibling, they can watch out for other kids.

[/quote]

This is an interesting point- I would, I assume, expect a 10 year old to look out for their 18 month old sibling if all playing together in the backyard.  Even closer in age siblings I would do that.  But I don't think I'd task my school aged kid with keeping an eye out for all of the babies/ toddlers on the playground, no.  Helping with their sibling is a responsibility of theirs, as part of our family.  [b]While I would certainly not allow them to run roughshod all over a bunch of babies, I would also not hyper-intervene if they were swinging on the monkey bars and a mom let her baby play underneath them[/b].  If the baby in question was my OWN baby, I'd move the baby!  Or if I couldn't for some reason, yes I'd call out to my older kid "keep an eye on Sister under there please!".  Because the baby is my responsibility, and I can delegate some of that responsibility to my older kid if necessary.  But I'm probably not going to ask my school aged kid  to watch out for a baby whose mother is right next to it but not intervening.  My kid is there to play, just like yours, and your baby is your own responsibility. [/quote]

Thank you for thinking so but youve responded with an extreme example (see bolded). Im not letting my toddler play in the swing zone. I am intervening- I was the mom talking about how my LO was going across a bridge- designed for one person- and another kid couldnt wait their turn and was stepping on his heels. Or if he is crawling through a tunnel, kids will still enter even though he isnt completed and try and step over him. OR going down a small slide and the older kids are using it to access the play equipment.

Also I was primarily noting that older kids are capable of seeing younger kids. Its been said here a few times that middle-school Bobby just doesnt see little kids- he is incapable. No Ma'm he is capable. I am not expecting your kid to watch over my kid. Im expecting that your kid be capable of seeing another human and react to that input by thinking...." hmmm cant go up this slide because someone else is coming down- I know! Ill use the stairs or go up an adjacent slide." If your kid went up the slide while your other kid was going down- youd internally be like WTF Bobby!?!
Well I'm internally saying WTF Bobby too![/quote]

NP. I have a two year old who always wanted to climb and slide from a young age so I totally get where you are coming from. I stayed ont he ground near him to remind him not to climb down ladders or to catch him if he ever fell (he never did), but in some cases yes, older kids pushed through the tunnel and went around him. Sometimes if he hesitated a second at the slide the other kids would push through and go down first. In my mind those are not safety issues. My DS could get a couple nudges or even a stubbed finger or something in the tunnel, and he will either learn to go faster or else look out for other kids. In your example, yes “WTF Bobby,” but also Bobby will learn by perhaps getting run into by a kid going down the slide. Maybe he will learn not to climb up when kids are coming down.

There are times when I have intervened in cases of true meanness and safety -  like a kid throwing sand at my kid or kicking him to make him go faster (NOT OK!), but those are the only time. Pinched fingers, being startled, even being brushed by and run by and around is the price of being on play structures which are typically meant for preschool age or older kids. [/quote]

Yes! Thank you! This is exactly how I parent, and I find that most other parents (moms especially) do not want so much as a little hair on their precious child’s head to be mussed. Not exactly realistic, and not exactly the way to build resilient kids. [/quote]

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