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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again. 
I dont want to act crazy, I'm uninterested in revenge.  I'm interested in advice from BTDT women who have had to deal with this. The first time she shows up at a soccer game, what do I do? When she shows up to pick the kids up, what do I say?  Just pretend I have no idea who she is? Like I dont remember her? 
I just dont know how to handle this next phase with class and grace. [/quote]

Say this the first time, looking her in the eye:

[b]I have no respect for what you did to upset my children’s lives, not your lack of respect for a Holy institution of marriage. However, I love and respect my children enough to give them the best out of any circumstance. For that reason, I’ll dhare my contact info with you so that if there is ever an emergency with my children, you or X contacts me ASAP. I’m not interested in a friendship, but I recognize that your children and my own will have impacts from your and X’s actions. My interest is solely for the children.”[/b]

Then walk away. You don’t have to say another word to her, smile, act chummy - and if you decide over the years to smile from time to time, there is nothing wrong with that either. Don’t ever let anyone steal your joy. Let your children see your strength and unconditional love. Establish boundaries you’re comfortable with and take control of the situation in an area where you can. That is one way that you can easily move into the next phase with class and grace.[/quote]

I get the desire to do this, but what does this accomplish?  To create even more tension?  The AP/new wife knows darn well the OP isn't going to like her.  Does OP actually benefit by creating an even more tense environment with new AP/wife?  Does OP want to get the occasional invite to spend Christmas with her kids if it's at her ex-DH's place?  Or birthday parties?  Or flexibility on which custody days they have?  Because the AP/new wife has her ex-DH's ear and can do quite a bit to make things even more difficult than they are.

If it were me, I would acknowledge her professionally, keep things cordial, lower tension and then proceed to live my best life.  And perhaps have crazy sex with a young hot stud.[/quote]

"get the occasional invite to spend Christmas with her kids"???? The courts designate what days. OP doesn't have to bow down in any form. She can have her own Holidays with the kids, and her side of the family. It may be Xmas or Xmas eve depending on the court order. Not a big deal. She can completely separate from her ex, plus AP might be gone by then.

OP shouldn't say anything nasty to the OW, she's lucky to be rid of the creep. Nor should she have sex with some stranger. If anything should be a lesson learned, pay attention in the beginning to a prospective partners morals and values. Look at his family dynamics. With cheaters there are always warning signs that are ignored.

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