Reply to Pregnant with non-boyfriend - he wants me to keep it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP is completely enticingly vague about the relationship. It sounds like “with benefits “ relationship that resulted in an oops. Doesn’t sound like love. Doesn’t sound like commitment. Sounds like a problem. Take away the money (not guaranteed) and you have really nothing but an unwanted pregnancy and a baby daddy. [/quote]

OP here. This is a relationship that works in a lot of ways, but neither of us were in a rush to take it to the next level for reasons previously outlined, though deeper commitment and a future were potential future options. I’m on the fence about marriage (right now) because - although we love each other - marriage, a new family (particularly for him, who’s never been married and isn’t a dad), and a baby in the span of eight months feels insane.

He’s willing to work with me on a long-term financial plan and would be a hands-on dad. (He acknowledges he needs to work less.) He’s also willing to provide resources that would make my day-to-day life easier (a nanny, a house cleaner). He doesn’t want there to be a dynamic that separates “my kids” from the new baby, but I make a fine living myself and my two older kids are well provided for - their dad does well, too. (Neither of us, however, is a millionaire.)

No matter what happens, he and I will always be friends. We’ve known each other forever and are very close. It’s a safe relationship and I trust him, and I respect him, and he feels the same way about me. Both of my kids have asked for a younger sibling over the years and I asked them the other day how they would feel *if* I had a new baby, and they reacted with happiness and excitement. I’m leaning toward having the baby. [/quote]

It sounds like the lines of communication are open and transparent - that's good.

After reading this update I think I'd lean pretty heavily towards putting agreements and supports in place and have the baby. Maybe marriage happens in the future or maybe it doesn't, but it sounds like he's thought about being a father and what that means.

There are no guarantees in life and no way to predict the future.  It sounds like everyone is pretty mature and grounded. Good luck.[/quote]
+1[/quote]

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