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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I was the child in this situation and looking at it purely theoretically, I agree that my mother should have had an abortion at that age. Of course, that means that I wouldn't have existed which is kind of weird to think about...lol.

My parents were lucky in that my mother had supportive parents. They were allowed to live rent free in an apartment attached to their house plus my grandmother didn't work so was able (and willing) to provide free childcare. How many 21 year olds have that opportunity? Even so, it was a small town with no industry. So very few decent paying jobs. My mom waitressed and my dad was a mechanic for the first five years of my life. Then my dad got a job at the local fire department and it enabled them to move out of my grandparents' house.

Still, money was ALWAYS tight. Some nights we didn't have enough food. And we *never* had money for extras. Forget things like vacations and summer camp, dinners out, trips to the movies, new clothes for school were considered super special treats...[/quote]

NP here and my mom also dropped out of college to have me.  She had to move home.  My grandparents and my aunts all helped out with me when I was young and my mom married my step dad when I was 3.  The big thing I remember my mom once telling me is that she knew the road would be harder, but really didn’t understand how hard it would be at that time.  My great grandmother had offered to take me for a year so my mom could finish her degre and my mom turned her down.  My mom didn’t finish college until I graduated and then she went on for her grad degree.  Not having a college degree  and a career  all those years impacted the type of jobs she could find and I think that made the road harder in many way including financially.

My mom always had primary responsibility for me even as her family helped with logistics. If you knew my grandmother not only was abortion out but she wouldn’t watch the baby while you are out partying. So responsibility is a given.  Money was definitely tight growing up but I would say the only two things that would have made things better for my mom long term is if she had gotten her degree back then and if my grandmother hadn’t been more excited about my biological dad that wasn’t responsible but attending an Ivy League school than my hard worker h.s diploma step dad that was actually working and supporting me and married to my mom![/quote]

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