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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I need to put this in every post on this topic:
"If wifey is tasked with all the kid care crap that husband doesn't even notice/care about, there go her energy points for the things he does (like dressing sexy and getting her fuck on). "
[/quote]

My husband was very jealous of the baby during the first few months.  He absolutely refused to try to understand that my hormones were really driving the train.  Whatever I did to reach out to him was never good enough, there was always something more I should have done, he wouldn't meet me halfway.  He absolutely set it up as him v. the baby.  Then he would complain that I was always busy with the baby, while leaving absolutely all the logistical work of child care to me.  If there was baby stuff out, it was somehow my job to clean it up.  I did everything to find a daycare, get the baby ready for daycare, to make sure that we had diapers and wipes and any necessary supplies, to keep the diaper bag stocked, to buy all her clothes, to make her medical appointments and attend them, to take time off when she was sick, to get everything together when we were going out as a family.  So, yeah, I was busy with the baby.  He wasn't stepping up, although he had plenty of time to complain that I wasn't pulling my weight around the house.  (Buying groceries didn't count.  Cooking meals didn't count.)  And I was supposed to be initiating all the sex.  I tried to talk to him about how I was nervous about sex because I was afraid it would hurt--no sympathy.  He never initiated sex, often turned me down when I tried to initiate, and then complained that we weren't having sex.  And somehow it was my job to fix that.  He wanted tons of affirmation that I thought he was good-looking and sexy, while, at best, telling me I looked nice when I was dressed for work sometimes.  Oh, and criticizing my haircut.

He's not a bad guy--he's responsible, smart, generally considerate, and does spend time with and take care of our kid.  But he's so emotionally needy, it's like I have two kids in that sense.

Maybe I was too wrapped up in the baby, although I feel like that's a normal reaction.  But it's like he's just going to punish me for it for the rest of our marriage.  Since nothing I do is ever good enough, why bother?[/quote]

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