Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, child of first marriage here. 
  
Spousal relationship of second marriage came first, and was very apparent once parent and step-parent had their own child.     One by one, my siblings and I were made to feel like outsiders.

[b]None of us "children from Jim's former marriage" have been in the picture for decades.   [/b]

As a parent, I always wonder how my dad could let this happen to each of us (we are all in different US geographic locations, have different personalities, different timing and reasons of phasing out communications).    To this day, still stuns me.[/quote]

Ugh, PP, I'm sorry for that.  I'm a child of a first marriage too and I am lucky that both of my stepparents do their best to consider me their own.  (Now that I'm a parent, I think it's unnatural to expect that a stepparent would see a stepchild as their own - it's just not the same).  But as much as they have done, I still feel like a bit of an outsider, simply because I wasn't there (due to age difference).  It's like going back to visit your old job and they all have these stories that you weren't part of.  My own feelings are why I won't have anymore children - I want my kids to have a family that is 100% their own.

OP - this is why children should come first.  No one should have to feel like the lesser of the children. A good spouse fulfills their parenting obligations to all their children and anyone who asks them to do less, is disgusting and pathetic.[/quote]

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