Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see there's some very bitter people on here.

Kids are not more important per se.  In a good situation, everyone would work together to make sure the kids have what they need.  That would include step parents.

Too often though, one parent or the other is busy trying to punish their ex, using the kids.  Or figuring out how to make the ex pay financially and emotionally.

Step parents can play a very important role in their kids' lives.  This whole attitude of "it's none of your business if you're the second wife" is ridiculous.

By the way, what about the new husband?  If he's the higher earner in the marriage does he have a say how money is spent?  Is he contributing to the kids' upbringing?  Or is it only the step mother who is to be punished for the entirety of her marriage?

I have a friend whose step kids could be facing an absolutely devastating change in their lives.  Their mother is fighting cancer, and not doing well.  It could very well be that they will be living with dad and step mom full time.  (Right now it's 50/50).  If my friend were to take the attitude that the kids were none of her business, how would this be handled?[/quote]

Obviously, when the kids are in step parent's home, step parent *does* have a say in [b]what goes on in his/her home. [/b] And that's especially true if step parent is stepping up when bio parent can't parent.
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Of course.  But, guess what?  She's also had a say when the requests from bio mom for money were getting over the top.  (This was all figured out long before she got sick.) When she simply wasn't buying things like school supplies, or winter coats.  Or was dropping the kids off, not on schedule, at a moments notice and not seeing why it was a problem.  Weren't they wanted there? Dad and step mom discussed it and came up with an approach together.  Now that they approach the problems that come up together things are going much smoother.

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