Reply to H is not happy with sex only once a week

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "H is not happy with sex only once a week"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] 
You don't deserve to have your "emotional needs" respected because you don't have respect for your partner. Being required to have sex when you don't want to because the other partner is having an emotional meltdown about it and is throwing a temper tantrum isn't respectful of your low drive partner's needs.

If you can't come to compromise, then you are better off divorced and so is your partner.

As for me, I've been married 23 years in a marriage that ended up with very mismatched sex drives after the kids got here. We compromised and found a way to keep it together, with everyone putting in an effort to make it work. [/quote]

Compromise means the low drive partner making effort to have sex more frequently while the high drive partner accepts less frequent encounters.

Your other posts indicate you see "compromise" as the high drive partner accepting the status quo[/quote]

The thing that low drive spouses don't seem to fully grasp is that it's not just about quantity, it's about quality. My H can perform physically, but I can tell he's not into it.  I can give myself physical pleasure (in less time, to boot!).  I want a partner who desires me and not just the sex. Tries new things. Enjoys the whole experience. That qualitative difference is hard to compromise on when one person just wants it to be over so he can watch TV or go to sleep.[/quote]

Yes. This. x1000. 
The low drive spouse believes the high drive spouse should be grateful. Grateful for what?  The "ok, I guess it's time to have sex now" romp?
Is that low drive spouse going to go all out and tease and play and lick and suck?  Very fucking unlikely. Who wants that?  "Duty intercourse."  Fuck that. [/quote]

Here's the crux of it. You are asking for something that the low drive spouse can't deliver. You can accept that or leave, but complaining at the low drive spouse about it isn't going to change the fact that they're not into it. The conflict just makes it worse. [/quote]

It's not that simple. Sometimes once you've been "out of the game" for a while, your drive drops. But it will usually increase if you just increase the frequency a bit.

Also, a sudden drop in drive may indicate a health issue, which can be treated.

A lot of times, the low drive person gets annoyed because they don't like to feel obligated or like an object. Again, I think this can be resolved if both parties just agree to meet in the middle.[/quote]

I don't disagree with you, but you aren't going to get anywhere saying this to the high drive people here. They're so sure they're right that they have zero patience for anyone else.

Wanting more sex isn't childish.  The attitudes on this board about the problem are EXTREMELY childish, though. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics