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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My family (7th grade son and 9th grade daughter) are moving to Spain as soon as the school year ends. My husband and I are both from there and our kids have been there before and speak Spanish so its familiar.

My son is honestly fine with moving, he's not happy but not sad either so he's pretty neutral. My 15 year old daughter on the other hand is completely devastated. She yells at my husband and I saying we are the worst parents ever and she slams doors and doesn't come out of her room anymore unless its for dinner. She's not budging and she's known that we are moving for about 2 weeks now. She won't tell her friends or talk to relatives and doesn't really believe that we are actually moving (she keeps repeating "we aren't moving" or "I am not going" over and over again.)

My question is; will she get over this? How harmful is this for her development and feelings as we move and process this?

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Based on the reaction she might not get over it.  If my parents had done this to me at that age, I would still be mad at them today.  She is also clearly telling you that this is harmful for her.  I would listen, go to therapy and rethink the plans.

Did she even know you were considering this?  Did you talk with the kids about how they would feel if it happened?  Something this big should have had more buy  in and not come out of left field….[/quote]

You need therapy to unpack why you let your kids dictate life plans for their entire family. Don’t parentify your kids because you’re too afraid to make a decision on their behalf that’s in their best interest. THAT is actually bad parenting.[/quote]

Wow, glad you feel comfortable being a jerk on an anonymous forum.

I didn’t say any of what you are assuming.  BTW, no where does this person say this is in the kid’s best interest because of x,y, or z.

Kids don’t dictate life plans but if I was considering a move like this, with kids of this age, I’d at least discuss it with them as part of a family meeting.  Then it wouldn’t be a shock and they would learn how to process the idea early.  Could have a chance to ask questions etc.  Which is how kids learn and become excited by new ideas.  It’s not that hard to respect your own kids and function as a family.[/quote]

You’re trying to make OP feel guilty/scared by telling her you’d resent your parents forever for making you move, and that her own daughter might not ever “get over it”… And yet you have the nerve to accuse OTHER people of being anonymous jerks?

Like I said, you need therapy.[/quote]

So I need therapy because I replied truthfully and directly for an opinion they asked for?  That is hilarious.

They should feel bad/guilty.  That is a crappy thing to do to your kids without buy in (especially at these ages) and it doesn’t sound like they have buy in or even prepped the kids this might happen.  Their replies/explanations are also callus and emotionally dismissive.  So no, I am not offering blind support to the parents.  And, yes, if my parents did this to me it would have damaged our relationship forever.  Not going to pretend otherwise.

Don’t ask for advice or opinions that you don’t want an honest answer to.  Not everyone will be supportive and in looking at the replies, most aren’t.

And you were free to scroll on by if you didn’t like what I said instead of being defensive and name calling.[/quote]

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