Reply to Would you allow your child to marry or date outside your culture or religion?

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[quote=Anonymous]I will accept and welcome any spouse my children choose, as long as they are a good person who makes them happy.

I married into a family who has never accepted our marriage (religious differences) & it is not something I would ever wish upon anyone. We have been married for 20 years but I certainly would not make the same choice again. Conventional wisdom is “they will get over it” but not in our case. Horrendously stressful/painful for my DH, for me, and for them as well (even if I don’t agree with their reasoning or their way of expressing it). We tried for years to improve the relationship- even moving to live nearby for several years- but it just isn’t something they can get past. Our kids barely know that entire side of the family and only see them briefly maybe once every 5yrs or so. DH barely talks to them at all anymore. I haven’t spoken to any of them in years. We live a 2hr flight away.

Not something I would recommend to anyone. I will say that if you are a parent who feels this way, it is actually kinder to firmly tell adult child AND the presumed spouse upfront that you 1000% will not support the marriage, will never support the marriage and will not be changing your mind. Make sure the presumed spouse knows FOR SURE that you are serious. If my in-laws had done this, I would not have married my DH. I really did not want things to be this way. Others might still marry in anyway, but at least they know what they are in for & have been given a clear picture. [/quote]

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