Reply to Social Media to Blame for Estrangement?

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Social Media to Blame for Estrangement?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The answer is YES. Internet therapy and therapy speak has emboldened a whole generation of MeMeMe. It's also the precursor of the sidelining of one's parents  so as not to ever have to care for them later. Ok, yeah that's  hard, but...
That said, there will be a million people coming here with stories of actual abuse, ok, but that's not what's generally going on here. [b]So many people cut off for the dumbest of reasons, and it's pervasive. Daughter in law took a comment the wrong way, jealousy among siblings,  Geandma suggested a bottle  feeding outside of a schedule, didn't come to all the ballet recitals[/b],  on and on. [/quote]

I have never heard of a single person being cut off for these reasons alone— only when the parent refuses to apologize for, say, the comment the DiL “took that wrong way” or for uneven resources for children or for meddling in parenting.

My parents had favorites. But they are (and were) honest and emotionally mature people who didn’t try to convince us our reality was wrong. They acknowledged it and made sure in the ways these things really matter, we all received equally.

If they pretended that wasn’t the case they’d be estranged from at least one and probably all of us by now.[/quote]
You are immediately assuming an apology is needed. Sometimes it is a daughter in law or son- and just ridiculous  stuff. One friend's daughter in law cut all contact with her inlaws, and that includes no access to son and grandchildren  because  mother was in a fender bender on the way to babysit, and was late, preventing DIL from being able to go with her friends to a golf party. She had to drive separately to the party.  Afterwards, the next day,  she was still mad about that but also she insisted MIL shouldn't be driving  the kids anymore  because of the fender bender. The fender bender happened when a drunk teenager side swiped the mother's  car, with minimal  damage, and hit 2 others badly.  The mother stayed on the scene to aid the other two, and the teen until the police came.  DIL was angry because  mother " had made a commitment to her to be there at a certain time", causing  her to miss out on the group drive. The mother is 60 and an excellent driver, no record of anything.  When MIL tried to explain why she stayed  she was escorted to the door and called  a narcissist. Why? She was making decisions  for her own well being, and not DIL, which includes  the driving edict. MiL is so distraught she is in therapy.  Therapist says she deals with this s#!++ all the time.

And yes, I know quite a lot of people who were cut off  for similar  rubbish. Your reality might actually be wrong, and that is what is missing- all blame goes to not just the parents,  but actually the mother. It's so pervasive,  it's almost natural to assume all of this. [/quote]

And so MiL knows why she was cut off, and doesn’t “agree” with the reason. She would rather be cut off than make amends. Sounds like a choice.[/quote]
Make amends for WHAT?  Who would  ever agree with that reason? And you don't see the problem here? Good lord. [/quote]

“The problem” for the MIL is that she’s been cut off from her kid and grandkids right? No one needs to agree with the reason they’ve been cut off— she can apologize and see if she’ll be taken back or is there are steps she can take to restore the relationship… or she can just continue complaining about it.

Based on your posting, I assume she’s chosen the complaint mechanism. Has a 0% success rate but I wish her well. [/quote]
And be blackmailed everytime her DIL throws a hissy fit? Yeah, no.  [/quote]

That’s a totally reasonable choice. It’s also not the same as being unwillingly estranged for an offense she “has no idea” of.

She’s estranged bevagse she doesn’t agree with her son and daughter in laws perspective on something she did. I get there’s no cache for her in saying that but it’s incredibly attention-seeking and drama llama to pretend she isn’t choosing this. [/quote]
So, you think the MIL is attention seeking? Lol. Ok, here it is,this is exactly why millennials and Z are full of it when it comes to this BS. Come on.

So, she does "know why" and no, the only person who needs to apologize  is pretty clear. Good grief. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics