Reply to Truthfully, can you both have careers and have 3+ kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it. [/quote]

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But  I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated. [/quote]

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected. [/quote]

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.[/quote]

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night. [/quote]

I think it comes down to what you prioritize. [/quote]

[b]Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis.[/b] My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?[/quote]

:lol: [/quote]

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well. [/quote]

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings  per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.[/quote]

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common. [/quote]

Google: “field hockey age 5” and “water polo age 5” and you will see these offerings exist. Further, many athletic activities are organized by school coaches or sports clubs and never make it onto Google because they are aimed at a select group. [/quote]

PP are you the parent whose kid plays those sports? If so, you just definitely indicated that of your 3 kids, one is in a sport. What all the parents of older kids are trying to tell you is that we have been there, and it gets harder. Even if you have looked at the calendar to see how it would work to have 3 kids playing those sports, you still have no freaking clue how much harder it gets. Trust us.[/quote]

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