No part of the lifestyle the posters on the past 3 pages are describing (3 kids 5 and under in 5 different activities per week and w/ a nanny and preschool) sounds fun at all to me.

I want to actually spend time w/ my kids. I want my kids to have time w/ me just focusing on them 1:1. I want to get to know my kids as people and not just shuttle them around to one activity after another (or have a nanny do it). I want to have a life where we (my spouse and kids and I) can relax and enjoy each other's company and not every waking minute is spent engaged in some "elite sport", working, or driving to/from work or elite sport. That does not sound enjoyable at all.

Think about what is best for your kids and you and your spouse, OP. Do you envision a lifestyle where everyone is always stressed, always going from one thing to the next? Or do you envision a lifestyle where you have a nice family dinner at home most nights and read your kids stories and put them to bed on time and talk about their day and sit on the couch cuddling with them? I think only you can decide what it is that works best for you and your family. Hopefully whatever you choose will also work for your kids as well.

Pp again. We are not so sports focused but my kids still played sports 5-6x per week. My kids are very athletic. There are kids whose parents were D1 athletes or played pro. I remember a kid at my son’s preschool who was just a natural athlete. He had a great football throw for just a 4 year old. Some kids are groomed from a young age, like the pp and her field hockey water polo kids.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common.

Yes, water polo and field hockey are obviously not common for the under 5 set. Maybe pp was an elite field hockey player. We know kids who started swimming at age 2 and swim laps in preschool. Yes, water polo seems extreme for that age.

DH played soccer and tennis. Guess what? My kids all played both in preschool. My boys were naturals at both. DH was not an elite player, just varsity so it was not our main focus to get them to be an elite level.

I personally like to travel. My kids have been on multiple international trips that typical adults have never been on.

I have friends whose little kids help prep dinner and can use a knife.

how is this relevant? does it follow from your kids travel that parenting 3 kids under 5 is the same as parenting 3 kids under 16? PP is literally using her experience with whatever passes for water polo at age 2 to argue that she knows what it is like to parent 3 teens 'cause "she has looked at the sport schedules years ahead"?

To me it seems relevant. I like to travel and bring my kids to places most others would not take their kids. I would not let my 4year old use a knife but I have a friend who does.

I don’t see field hockey being so different than soccer or lacrosse. Water polo is the one sport I’m not so familiar with so I cannot comment.

I have 3 kids and I’m a sahm. My oldest is also 15 years old. He has been playing tennis since preschool. I think we are around a lot of very sports focused people. We have a friend whose kid did gymnastics early and then stopped going to school in elementary school to focus more on gymnastics. We know a kid who stopped going to middle school to play ice hockey. The normal sports obsessed family just takes their kids to travel soccer, AAU basketball, tennis tournaments all over the country. I’m sure they all started in preschool.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

Not a troll post. But believe whatever you need to. I was an elite athlete and I’m exposing my kids to what I was exposed to as a child. And I can worry about the logistics. I’ve already looked at practice schedules multiple years out.

Oh. Sorry, I was not aware you have figured it all out. May I suggest that you write a book on how to perfectly plan your life, we all have so much to learn from you.

Families with parents with careers and three kids are not monolithic. Being a working parent is hard. We can’t help but parent and live through the prisms of our experiences (good and bad), constrained by our capabilities, circumstances, and resources. Outcomes will vary.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common.

Yes, water polo and field hockey are obviously not common for the under 5 set. Maybe pp was an elite field hockey player. We know kids who started swimming at age 2 and swim laps in preschool. Yes, water polo seems extreme for that age.

DH played soccer and tennis. Guess what? My kids all played both in preschool. My boys were naturals at both. DH was not an elite player, just varsity so it was not our main focus to get them to be an elite level.

I personally like to travel. My kids have been on multiple international trips that typical adults have never been on.

I have friends whose little kids help prep dinner and can use a knife.

how is this relevant? does it follow from your kids travel that parenting 3 kids under 5 is the same as parenting 3 kids under 16? PP is literally using her experience with whatever passes for water polo at age 2 to argue that she knows what it is like to parent 3 teens 'cause "she has looked at the sport schedules years ahead"?

The post you responded to struck me as a bizarre, irrelevant stream of consciousness. Maybe these moms of toddlers are more tired than they realize.

I assumed PP was simply saying that some parents do atypical things with their kids. Great, fine, but not really an argument that the PP with 3 under 5 and a single kid in a sport has any clue what middle and high school with 3 is like.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common.

Yes, water polo and field hockey are obviously not common for the under 5 set. Maybe pp was an elite field hockey player. We know kids who started swimming at age 2 and swim laps in preschool. Yes, water polo seems extreme for that age.

DH played soccer and tennis. Guess what? My kids all played both in preschool. My boys were naturals at both. DH was not an elite player, just varsity so it was not our main focus to get them to be an elite level.

I personally like to travel. My kids have been on multiple international trips that typical adults have never been on.

I have friends whose little kids help prep dinner and can use a knife.

how is this relevant? does it follow from your kids travel that parenting 3 kids under 5 is the same as parenting 3 kids under 16? PP is literally using her experience with whatever passes for water polo at age 2 to argue that she knows what it is like to parent 3 teens 'cause "she has looked at the sport schedules years ahead"?

The post you responded to struck me as a bizarre, irrelevant stream of consciousness. Maybe these moms of toddlers are more tired than they realize.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common.

Yes, water polo and field hockey are obviously not common for the under 5 set. Maybe pp was an elite field hockey player. We know kids who started swimming at age 2 and swim laps in preschool. Yes, water polo seems extreme for that age.

DH played soccer and tennis. Guess what? My kids all played both in preschool. My boys were naturals at both. DH was not an elite player, just varsity so it was not our main focus to get them to be an elite level.

I personally like to travel. My kids have been on multiple international trips that typical adults have never been on.

I have friends whose little kids help prep dinner and can use a knife.

how is this relevant? does it follow from your kids travel that parenting 3 kids under 5 is the same as parenting 3 kids under 16? PP is literally using her experience with whatever passes for water polo at age 2 to argue that she knows what it is like to parent 3 teens 'cause "she has looked at the sport schedules years ahead"?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common.

Google: “field hockey age 5” and “water polo age 5” and you will see these offerings exist. Further, many athletic activities are organized by school coaches or sports clubs and never make it onto Google because they are aimed at a select group.

PP are you the parent whose kid plays those sports? If so, you just definitely indicated that of your 3 kids, one is in a sport. What all the parents of older kids are trying to tell you is that we have been there, and it gets harder. Even if you have looked at the calendar to see how it would work to have 3 kids playing those sports, you still have no freaking clue how much harder it gets. Trust us.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common.

Google: “field hockey age 5” and “water polo age 5” and you will see these offerings exist. Further, many athletic activities are organized by school coaches or sports clubs and never make it onto Google because they are aimed at a select group.

https://usawaterpolo.org/sports/2018/12/19/sport-development-programs.aspx

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common.

Google: “field hockey age 5” and “water polo age 5” and you will see these offerings exist. Further, many athletic activities are organized by school coaches or sports clubs and never make it onto Google because they are aimed at a select group.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common.

Yes, water polo and field hockey are obviously not common for the under 5 set. Maybe pp was an elite field hockey player. We know kids who started swimming at age 2 and swim laps in preschool. Yes, water polo seems extreme for that age.

DH played soccer and tennis. Guess what? My kids all played both in preschool. My boys were naturals at both. DH was not an elite player, just varsity so it was not our main focus to get them to be an elite level.

I personally like to travel. My kids have been on multiple international trips that typical adults have never been on.

I have friends whose little kids help prep dinner and can use a knife.

Sure, PP's family and kids could be atypical. But that would be exactly the point - if they're atypical then they probably can't speak to the general question of how easy it is to have 2 demanding careers and 3 kids in one family.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.

It’s not that her preschoolers are participating in sports, it’s the mention of water polo and field hockey being the sports that make it seem odd. Those aren’t common sports for the under 5 crowd. Gymnastics, swimming, learn to skate/play hockey, soccer, etc are far more common.

Yes, water polo and field hockey are obviously not common for the under 5 set. Maybe pp was an elite field hockey player. We know kids who started swimming at age 2 and swim laps in preschool. Yes, water polo seems extreme for that age.

DH played soccer and tennis. Guess what? My kids all played both in preschool. My boys were naturals at both. DH was not an elite player, just varsity so it was not our main focus to get them to be an elite level.

I personally like to travel. My kids have been on multiple international trips that typical adults have never been on.

I have friends whose little kids help prep dinner and can use a knife.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

Not a troll post. But believe whatever you need to. I was an elite athlete and I’m exposing my kids to what I was exposed to as a child. And I can worry about the logistics. I’ve already looked at practice schedules multiple years out.

You’re a legend in your own mind, ma’am. Thanks for the laughs!

seriously! "i have look at practice schedules multiple years out" - because nothing unexpected every happens in life, especially with three kids...

Practice schedules multiple years out? The sports league all 3 of my kids play in fall and spring releases practice schedules a week or two before each season starts. Pretty sure most diamond and rectangle field sports are like that, plus basketball and volleyball. Game calendar doesn't come out until practices have already started. That has to be true of this theoretical kindergarten field hockey team. Even figure skating only releases lesson times a couple of sessions ahead, certainly not years out. You can make a guess what's going to be available, but you can't know for sure. That's true for gymnastics too - and how are you going to guarantee your kid progresses at the rate you mapped out for the next few years? Summer swim is a little easier because it always follows the same pattern. Assuming water polo is through a local swim club, that's going to change from year to year. Our winter swim times certainly did.

I'm assuming what PP meant, assuming it's not a troll, is that her 5 year old participates in field hockey one season (or fall and spring), water polo in the winter - I do know of at least one 7 year old who played polo so maybe it's a thing - and gymnastics year round. Which is utterly, completely different than when you have 3 kids elementary and older and are trying to juggle all of their sporting interests plus instruments, scouts or similar, school activities, and all the rest.

You may think you know busy with a kid or even two in 2 activities a season, but it really doesn't qualify you to know what it's like to have 3 older kids trying to be good at things - which takes direct parent involvement outside of what a coach/teacher might do. And you don't know what it's like when one parent is taking one kid, one parent is taking the other, and a neighbor is taking the third all to different events that night and you guys haven't seen each other since morning and you'll all get back to eat dinner at 8:30 p.m. before everyone rushes like a mad person to get to bed or do homework then get to bed.

I only have elementary schoolers but I'm in tune enough to my friends with older kids to know this only gets more interesting/exciting/crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

Not a troll post. But believe whatever you need to. I was an elite athlete and I’m exposing my kids to what I was exposed to as a child. And I can worry about the logistics. I’ve already looked at practice schedules multiple years out.

Oh. Sorry, I was not aware you have figured it all out. May I suggest that you write a book on how to perfectly plan your life, we all have so much to learn from you.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

Not a troll post. But believe whatever you need to. I was an elite athlete and I’m exposing my kids to what I was exposed to as a child. And I can worry about the logistics. I’ve already looked at practice schedules multiple years out.

You’re a legend in your own mind, ma’am. Thanks for the laughs!

seriously! "i have look at practice schedules multiple years out" - because nothing unexpected every happens in life, especially with three kids...