Reply to We keep arguing about work and home responsibilities because we're both overwhelmed.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would have kept him in the $500-600k job, to be honest.

He now seems to be in the worst of all worlds- not earning an amazing salary but too busy to pick up his shsre of the house work.[/quote]

This. What was the point of leaving the harder job if he still can’t pull his weight?[/quote]

OP here. Our life now is night and day from the other job.

(1) He was unhealthy - didn't sleep enough, didn't work out at all. Was sitting at a computer all day and night. You can only do that for so many years before permanently harming your health.

(2) He never wanted to have sex. We had date nights here and there, but I'd basically get to interact with him for an 90 min a day. He was always stressed about work.

(3) He worked one full day per weekend on average. I was really lonely.

(4) Our kid had no real relationship with him.

(5) I couldn't pursue my professional passions - and I felt unfulfilled because of that.

I love having him around on weekends, having him putting the kids to bed, practice the piano with the oldest, seeing how much they love him and how attached to him they are, spending time with him after bedtime, because really he is my best friend and I love him a lot. Planning trips together, going on dates, just watching videos and laughing and cuddling. And a better sex life.

We have friends who stayed in "high finance" and I see what that brand of fatherhood looks like, and it's not for us. [/quote]

OP this is all very helpful context. You made a change and you are happy with many aspects of it. The downside, and there always is one, is that there is still a lot on your plate and less money to go around. DH should step up in the mornings for sure. [/quote]

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