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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can think of a gazillion reasons unrelated to childcare for which someone might reasonably request to change the regular time of a weekly meeting.  Regular weekly meetings are almost never set in stone, unless it's a core fuction of the job but nothing in the OP indicates this. So I do not get all the folks who say you can't ask for this and OP shouldn't expect her DH to do this - that's just ridiculous.

[b]What concerns me most is one of you already making lots of schedule changes to accomodate the new pickup/dropoff schedule while the other one refuses to make *any*.  [/b]As many others have said, that is not reasonable in any universe and foreshadows lots of problems in the future when flexibility will become necessary.

FWIW, my DH makes $300k+/yr as an individual contributor at a major tech firm (so, not management or executive).  I make $30k/yr as a part time, fully WFH nonprofit staffer.  We have two preteen SN kids with crazy schedules.  I do 75% of regular pickups and dropoffs, and closer to 90% of the random appointments and sick days - that's the main reason for my PT/WFH schedule.  However, ~4 times a year I have to travel for work for a week at a time (nonnegotiable core function of my job), and he takes over everything without question or complaint.  He will even shift his on-call rotation to accomodate my travel if necessary.  Because we are a team, and we approach our family calendar as a team effort.

Sure, some places still follow outdated/sexist norms, but the status quo won't change if no one bothers to try.  I'm not even saying DH has to change the meeting, but it's about the attitude.  This would absolutely be a hill I'd die on.[/quote]

According to what OP said, her Dh  is ok with the child attending daycare as much as needed to accommodate work schedules, while she feels the child should be in daycare fewer than 9 hours per day.    If it's important to OP, SHE should be the one to figure it out.   It's inappropriate of her to demand that he jeopardize his career prospects to accommodate her want. 
Whether in daycare or with the parents, the child will be safe and cared for.   [/quote]

If they are not on the same page about how much day care is ok, and OP has decided to adjust her schedule to make that happen, it doesn't follow that he is required to make the same career-limiting choices if he doesn't think they are necessary to raising their kid.

And for those saying there is no harm asking to move a standing meeting, I assure you that I've accommodated those requests without question but rolled my eyes and lowered my opinion of the askers who felt that their personal needs/wants were superior to everyone else who was just quietly adjusting without pushing everyone else around. I don't want to be that colleague, and sounds like OP's husband doesn't want to either.[/quote]

I agree. I've heard lots of, "he thinks he's the first person in the world to ever have a baby," met with lots of eyerolls. [/quote]

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