Reply to Birthday party invites - not inviting one girl

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD is turning 11 and in 5th grade. This will be her last big birthday party.

In her class this year, there is a girl who is very mean to many of the other girls in the class and DD is constantly complaining about her. For example, she stole DD’s special eraser one day and threw it in the trash (the teacher later found it and the girl bragged to others about doing it). She makes rude comments about many of the girls regularly (“ugh your outfit is so ugly”) and overall is just known as a mean girl. She has friends in another class who she usually hangs out with.

Anyway, there are 10 girls in DD’s class and she wants to invite all to her birthday party except this one girl. Ordinarily I would say absolutely not to excluding one person, but I am torn.

Do I make DD invite someone who is actively mean and rude to her just so I don’t hurt one person’s feelings? Do I make her not invite a few other girls from the class that she does like just so we don’t invite everyone?

FWIW, if I do invite the mean girl she will likely come because her parents will make sure. We know them and the parents are actually really nice, so even if their daughter says she doesn’t want to attend they will probably make her, and none of her other friends would be invited so DD thinks it would be awkward.[/quote]

Do not exclude this one girl and the reason I would say is unless  you witnessed the "bullying" you don't know what is going on.  If you don't want to invite her fine but, if you invite everyone but, this girl than your dd will become the mean girl ( if she isn't already)

Just invite half of the class.[/quote]

Why are you so concerned about one girl's feelings and not another's? I highly doubt there are many situations where ALL of the girls are included except just that one who happens to be a bully. Usually, many girls might be included, and a few won't, including a bully. But, when push comes to shove, if there is a good reason to not include that one person, it might be the wake up call needed. Why are you so afraid of a bully facing consequences? Maybe it will help.[/quote]

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