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[quote=Anonymous]This is a major explosion in your life. And now you are in a space where you have to determine what information you believe, and pay attention to: the texts and messages, where he tells his affair partner how unhappy he was, how little you matter, or now that he has been caught, the soundbites he is giving you that she means nothing, and he only wants you. It’s difficult, because if nothing else he has proven that he is a successful liar to women, both you and the woman he was having a relationship with.

Actions will matter a lot right now. If he is really feeling remorseful and is doing and showing things to try to change, then it is a glimmer of hope for both of you. You have to now determine if that is enough for you, if there is enough there that you would want to salvage. And you also must realize that some people are very very good at lying, and your husband may very well be one of them. And his attempts to woo you and win you over now COULD all just a part of the lies until he gets into a space where he is able to cheat again. And then he will hope he will cover his tracks better. Or that you would forgive him again since you did the first time.

It is a hard reality for many people in this situation who have been lied to and cheated on. You can go on a path towards reconciliation, hoping that he is one of the very few who can make life changes, and trust again, but the percentage is never going to be on your side. It may always be an uphill battle — him trying to stay honest and failing or him staying faithful but you always second guessing. Unfortunately, that is a hard truth. I wish you good luck. [/quote]

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