Reply to If anyone gives my kids toys for Christmas, I might scream.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No one ever has to buy your child a gift. Repeat that to yourself. When you tell them what to buy and what not to buy it is incredibly rude. Say thank you and then deal with the stuff. I think all you young parents who are mad at grandmas for buying stuff are entitled and come off as really rude. [b]No one owes your child gifts[/b]. They especially don’t owe your child a specific gift that you have approved in advance. Wth. Say thank you and then deal with the stuff. And then grow up![/quote]

Great, we are in agreement! And once a gift is given the recipient is allowed to do as they please. So if the gift is a duplicate of things in the toy closet or not in line with the kids’ interests or otherwise doesn’t fit in our small house, it will go to Goodwill. I get that many Boomers live in exurban McMansions and think everyone should have a 3 car garage and endless closets to store all this stuff. But my family prioritized a smaller home near amenities because we did not choose to waste our free time with owning/storing lots of material stuff. So if you want to continue the gift giving charade, that is all well and good, but you can’t complain parents like me are entitled when we immediately donate the gifts our kids never even asked for in the first place. The entitled ones are the grandparents who think it’s their god given right to spoil the grandkids as they wish.[/quote]

I'm the PP who said this (I didn't say the other snarky stuff). I think it's great you prioritize other stuff and wouldn't think you are awful for re-gifting/donating just as soon as the grandparents walk out the door. If they COMPLAIN that you donate the stuff, that's another story... what you do with the stuff once it ends up in your house is your own business.

What I was reacting to is the idea that you can dictate what/if people give your children gifts. You can't, and shouldn't. And you are in charge of whether your kids are spoiled, not your parents. You can teach them not to EXPECT gifts - each one is a lovely surprise, followed up by a handwritten thank you note, and then given away to a needy child if you so choose. If your kids are picking up on your angry attitude toward your parents then you are communicating that:

people owe them gifts and they can dictate what people give them (or should be able to) and they can get mad if they don't get the right stuff/the right amount of stuff.

THIS is what's going to make them insufferable and spoiled, btw, not the grandparents giving them stuff.

I am not a grandparent, btw, and I have small children. And I still think the original rant seems entitled and ungrateful. 
[/quote]

I think you’re reading a lot into my post about what I would share with my children (FWIW, I would never vent to them about this, what I say on an anonymous message board is different than what I say in my home).

Sure there are ungrateful, micromanaging parents out there who try to control gifts because it doesn’t go with their aesthetic or whatever. But there are also absolutely manipulative grandparents who use gifts to throw shade at your parenting or to push boundaries. I’m talking comments about how they commuted a long distance to have a large enough house to buy lots of things for their kids. Or telling your kids “Grandma bought you the all these toys because she loves you most.” That sure brings up some awkward situations with in-laws. Or who buy things like those giant ride on cars when you’re living in a 2 bedroom apartment in a dense area and have nowhere to store or ride them. It creates marital stress b/c the spouse wants you to rein it in. So respectfully, you are fortunate if you have not experienced this. But I don’t think it’s fair to call parents ungrateful as a blanket rule for wanting reasonable limitations on how gifts are handled. [/quote]

The giant ride on cars that are popular now are worth quite a bit of money. Sell it on FB Marketplace and give your kid the $ to spend. “Problem” solved.[/quote]

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