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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]she says she wants to at least SEE if she can get in to these places like Princeton and Pomona. I have no idea why. What is the point? [/quote]

Let he know what you can pay, run the NPC to see the estimate, then let her take her shot. This is her one chance to apply to college, and there's no good reason to keep her from seeing what happens. There's a good chance she won't get in, but then the school has squelched her dreams, not you. If she gets in, there's a small chance that the financial package is better than you feared. But even if she gets in and you can't afford it, she can take pride in being "good enough" for the school, even if it's too expensive to attend.

That said, I'd also make sure she has a robust list of schools of varying costs and selectivity, and including some strong schools known for merit aid. Bonus: some of those have early action, so she can get a response before the rest of her applications are due. It's great to know that college is a sure bet, especially one that is affordable, well before the rest of the schools release their decisions.[/quote]

[b]I'm sure she'll take great comfort in that when you tell her "sorry" as she clutches her acceptance letter.  "You set me up - why did you give me false hope?"  [/quote]
DP. OP’s child is not an imbecile, so she would not act in such a dramatic and ridiculous fashion if admitted to her dream school given that her parents told her up front what they could afford to pay. In the scenario where she is admitted, she will have either found outside scholarships that will allow her to attend, or she will recognize that she can’t pull it off but will have a huge boost of confidence wherever she starts school knowing the dream school found her worthy. She will likely tell herself she’ll attend grad school there instead, and then, four years later, realize the obsession with dream schools are silly and pick her next steps based on fit. But she’ll always take pleasure in knowing that she was once admitted to a top school.[/b] [/quote]

You are hopelessly naive.  Top schools don't give merit. OP's kid isn't going to get any.  FAFSA financial aid sounds unlikely.  So WHY is she applying to schools over $80K a year?  That is cruel and a hard fact about today's college admissions.  NOw if OP's kid has something to sell (URM, Band instrument; first generation; legacy; etc.) it might be a different story.  This (what can you reasonably afford) is the first question any public or private college counselor will ask.  Because there are options separate from the 80K+ private but you have to reorient your kid THEN to apply only to what the parents can afford.  To dangle something the parents cannot afford in front of DD is parentally irresponsible
+[/quote]

+1000

None of the T20 schools give significant merit, beyond a very few scholarships.  40-50%+ of students are full pay at most of those schools.  The rest get some form of FA.  I agree that it would be very hard for most 18yo to have the drive to apply to T20 schools and not be extremely disappointed when they get in but can't afford it.

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