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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I often wonder why these threads have so much talk about the husband needing therapy to address cheating. The guy did what he did because he wasn’t happy or wanted variety and gave into temptation that was appealing because in some cases the woman gave his attention and the experience felt fresh. I’d call him weak for giving in but I wouldn’t insist it’s always due to his traumatic childhood or that he must be psychologically broken because he slept with someone else. No diagnosis needed. People do this deliberately. They want to cheat snd get away with it. The opportunity was there.

When women cheat they usually don’t go running to therapy. Could you just imagine a man telling another man oh my Larla cheated, I’ve a great therapist to help you two stay together. Hell no. It’s chalked up to an exit affair. How many women who have cheated even declare they need therapy? I doubt most husbands would even consider that as a remedy. The husband files for divorce and that’s the end of it. Or she runs off with the AP and lives the life she wants (usually never ends that way). And the world sees her as a whore. Most husbands get off easy because their wives sweep it up with a therapist. [/quote]

IDK, this is a lot of generalizing. If you look on Reddit of infidelity forums, sometimes it seems like it's ALL betrayed men trying to deal with wayward wives. At least, that's how it seems to me as a BW who is mainly looking to connect with other BW. I'm like, scroll, scroll, scroll . . . And believe me, these men are not "getting off easy" or going right to divorce.

My husband entered therapy after his affair and he continued it. I think he just likes having someone to talk to about himself (that's a pretty universal feeling). The affair was several years ago and is no longer his focus. It's mainly just the stuff of adulting and kind of minor family-of-origin issues. I do think that if he'd had a smidge more self-awareness and grown-up-ed-ness, he probably would not have had an affair. But yeah, I don't think his issues were all that deep or terrible, but everyone, including me, can benefit from digging deeper and learning new skills. [/quote]

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