Reply to Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time

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Reply to "Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole conversation makes me extremely anxious about my relationship with my future DILs/SILs.  Am i going to be expected to pay for time with my children in the future by footing the bill for everything always and if I don't I am A$$hole MIL?  [b]Like if I want to plan a trip to go skiing, am I even allowed to ask if they want to come without assuming the costs for their flights, car, food, lift tickets, everything?[/b]  My only real splurge now is our family trips and there is no way in the future I can afford adding 3 spouses and all their children to the tab.  Isn't realistic to expect adults to pay some of their way?[/quote]

No, of course not. It's the manipulation that's the problem.[/quote]
I actually think a simple invitation without any offer to pay for part of the trip is better than a manipulative attempt to pay for part of it.

And always remember that an invitation is not a summons. Don’t get offended if people turn you down.[/quote]

I don't think offering to pay for part of it has to be manipulative: "We're going to Lake Placid in July and we'd love it if you could join us. We'll rent a bigger house -- our treat -- if you want to come, but no worries if it doesn't work for you. Do we need to wait until you hear about camp?"[/quote]

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