Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I empathize OP and I am in a similar situation with my own parents.

It helped when I thought of it this way- my parents want to celebrate a major milestone for them and the way they want to do that is to have their family around them. They are asking us to participate in that celebration as a gift to them and doing a little bit to make it easier.

You are either willing to give them that gift, or not. Either answer is obviously OK. But where we landed was to give my parents that gift of letting them have their ideal celebration surrounded by family.

I love this. Very beautiful. OP, your in laws have tha audacity to what to spend time with their family at an important time/event for them. It’s one thing if you just can’t afford it, but you are definitely coming off as whiny and selfish.

If you think this m, you did not understand the post you responded to. And you do not agree with it at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I empathize OP and I am in a similar situation with my own parents.

It helped when I thought of it this way- my parents want to celebrate a major milestone for them and the way they want to do that is to have their family around them. They are asking us to participate in that celebration as a gift to them and doing a little bit to make it easier.

You are either willing to give them that gift, or not. Either answer is obviously OK. But where we landed was to give my parents that gift of letting them have their ideal celebration surrounded by family.

I love this. Very beautiful. OP, your in laws have tha audacity to what to spend time with their family at an important time/event for them. It’s one thing if you just can’t afford it, but you are definitely coming off as whiny and selfish.

Anonymous wrote:I read through this whole thread to find out if the bunkroom poster here is the same gal from 2017 and no answer! It has to be the same, right?

Anonymous wrote:Boomers won’t word something with no worries if you can’t come. They are generally an insanely selfish generation. They want what they want and don’t want to hear no.

DH,s grandmother is from the greatest generation. She has never demands on her children, grandchildren, or great grandchildren. She invites people all the time on trips and has zero expectations that people say yes. She hosted holidays up until her death and was everyone is welcome to come but no issues if your going on vacation, with your in laws or just want to stay home. It’s awesome!

Her children who are all boomers are the most obnoxious bunch of demanding jerks. They manipulate, demand, whine, pout and do whatever they can to get what they want from their children, nieces and nephews, and each other.

Anonymous wrote:Boomers won’t word something with no worries if you can’t come. They are generally an insanely selfish generation. They want what they want and don’t want to hear no.

DH,s grandmother is from the greatest generation. She has never demands on her children, grandchildren, or great grandchildren. She invites people all the time on trips and has zero expectations that people say yes. She hosted holidays up until her death and was everyone is welcome to come but no issues if your going on vacation, with your in laws or just want to stay home. It’s awesome!

Her children who are all boomers are the most obnoxious bunch of demanding jerks. They manipulate, demand, whine, pout and do whatever they can to get what they want from their children, nieces and nephews, and each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers won’t word something with no worries if you can’t come. They are generally an insanely selfish generation. They want what they want and don’t want to hear no.

DH,s grandmother is from the greatest generation. She has never demands on her children, grandchildren, or great grandchildren. She invites people all the time on trips and has zero expectations that people say yes. She hosted holidays up until her death and was everyone is welcome to come but no issues if your going on vacation, with your in laws or just want to stay home. It’s awesome!

Her children who are all boomers are the most obnoxious bunch of demanding jerks. They manipulate, demand, whine, pout and do whatever they can to get what they want from their children, nieces and nephews, and each other.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Boomers won’t word something with no worries if you can’t come. They are generally an insanely selfish generation. They want what they want and don’t want to hear no.

DH,s grandmother is from the greatest generation. She has never demands on her children, grandchildren, or great grandchildren. She invites people all the time on trips and has zero expectations that people say yes. She hosted holidays up until her death and was everyone is welcome to come but no issues if your going on vacation, with your in laws or just want to stay home. It’s awesome!

Her children who are all boomers are the most obnoxious bunch of demanding jerks. They manipulate, demand, whine, pout and do whatever they can to get what they want from their children, nieces and nephews, and each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole conversation makes me extremely anxious about my relationship with my future DILs/SILs. Am i going to be expected to pay for time with my children in the future by footing the bill for everything always and if I don't I am A$$hole MIL? Like if I want to plan a trip to go skiing, am I even allowed to ask if they want to come without assuming the costs for their flights, car, food, lift tickets, everything? My only real splurge now is our family trips and there is no way in the future I can afford adding 3 spouses and all their children to the tab. Isn't realistic to expect adults to pay some of their way?

No, of course not. It's the manipulation that's the problem.

I actually think a simple invitation without any offer to pay for part of the trip is better than a manipulative attempt to pay for part of it.

And always remember that an invitation is not a summons. Don’t get offended if people turn you down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole conversation makes me extremely anxious about my relationship with my future DILs/SILs. Am i going to be expected to pay for time with my children in the future by footing the bill for everything always and if I don't I am A$$hole MIL? Like if I want to plan a trip to go skiing, am I even allowed to ask if they want to come without assuming the costs for their flights, car, food, lift tickets, everything? My only real splurge now is our family trips and there is no way in the future I can afford adding 3 spouses and all their children to the tab. Isn't realistic to expect adults to pay some of their way?

No, of course not. It's the manipulation that's the problem.

Anonymous wrote:It certainly feels more like a demand than an ask. Whose feathers are going to be so ruffled that you need to give up your planned vacation your leave time $2500 and visit a park you are not that interest in ? It’s an invite. You have sufficient reasons to decline.