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[quote=Anonymous]My husband didn't support me when my dad died six years ago. Didn't go to the funeral and created a ridiculous amount of drama around himself. It was like he just couldn't handle not being the center of my attention - yes, he's a total narcissist. I won't ever forget that. I have moved past it, but I will never forget that I was the only one there without my spouse. Same person who, when my dad went into the ICU and I'm frantically trying to get on a plane, said, "well, hang on, let me check my schedule to make sure this [taking care of our daughter solo] works for me." Don't be like that. I know you got a get out of jail free card, but agree with PPs, let it be known you would have done anyway. He needs to know that.

P.S. when, two years ago, my MIL died, I forced my husband to drive down to see her. I had an inkling she was on her last leg, but he wanted to wait until the following weekend when he had one of his long weekends at work. I said nope, we're going, and when we got there and sure enough, I could just see it, that she wouldn't last the week. No one else was able to, so I get OP's point that "married in" folks can see the forest through the trees a little better. I "put my foot down" and got her set up with hospice so she could pass pain-free.

You only get one time to get this right. There's no do-over. [/quote]

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