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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm another one here who has posted a couple of times to support you. I'm glad things worked out for now, I really am. I would add, though, that this is more a case of kicking the issue down the road. You and DH did not have to work out a decision between you, the choice was basically made for you by others saying that travel at this time for everyone is a bad idea. When things are calmer, and there isn't a crisis and a deadline for decisions looming, maybe you and DH need to talk about the idea of what "support" for each other really looks like. I would not do it now, though, since clearly he is going to be wound up with grieving for a while.

I note in the very first post you mentioned that all the "married-in" family members (you and the other spouses of the siblings?) expected FIL's death, yet MIL and others are feeling they should have somehow done something more, etc. Do I have that right? It sounds as if maybe the family members aren't great at looking serious illness or death square in the eye and acknowledging it if someone is truly on the way out. That's knowledge to keep in mind for the future, because it will mean the next time there is a serious illness in the family there might be denial going on, maybe. Just a thought. Only you know the details and whether that's remotely right, though. I'm sorry about your FIL and hope your DH is going to cope OK. I also wish you well, and think your position was the right one all along.

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