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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]If you're happy with your choice there's no need to get all up in arms, defensive and trying to offend others just because we see things differently. I don't doubt you're trying to do your best. I never said that. [b]What I'm saying is that when you're not with your child when they're awake you're definitely not raising them[/b].[/quote]

And this is where you are fundamentally wrong. Parents raise their children in every decision that they make. Iam raising my child to know that both women and men work. We are raising our child to know that even though we may be apart for a bit, mommy and daddy always come back. And that when they are even as young as 3 months that I will find an environment and people that we trust to care for him while we are not there. The environment where his needs are met, he is engaged, sung to, brought outside to play, given different textures to explore, music to make, given a safe environment to explore and become more mobile with people who from 8-4 have our son and 4 other babies' care as their only job. They don't cook, or have to do the laundry, or grocery shop, or anything. And our son certainly benefits from interaction with other babies. He learned to crawl and stand and is very verbal from the influence of other babies. those daycare people follow our instructions for food, clothing, sleep, play, and even interaction. This is all part of raising our child. And that is where you are straight up wrong. Finally, we are raising our child to know that both parents share in parenting responsibilities and he can do whatever he wants to do, regardless of traditional gender roles and expectations.

Fundamentally, we are raising our children and we are justifiably offended when you tell us we are not and that you wish everyone would make the choices that you make. We are offended at your lack of empathy for our values, how you don't acknowledge or understand your own position of privilege and your comments  like "it's sad to know that this is the best some parents can afford for our children."

Asking me not to get offended if I'm secure in my choices is akin to calling breastmilk poison and ranting on about how you wish everyone could afford formula (because you don't hold it against those who can't afford it) for 11 pages and expecting people who choose to Breastfeed to not be upset or offended because they are "secure in their choices." My partner and I are secure in our choices and I am offended that you are constantly criticizing them without any self awareness.

I also ask you directly because I don't believe you've answered this. [b]What role does your working spouse provide in raising your children?[/b] Does he (I am making a heterosexist assumption) not since he works?[/quote]

NP thanking you on behalf of working families for articulating this so well.  I, like you, am waiting for a response from one of the anti-working-mothers posters about the role that their husbands play in raising the children.  None?  Just a sperm donor?  Because anything else would negate the anti-WOHM vitriol you're spouting?  Exactly.[/quote]

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