Reply to Are sons missing a genetic gene on caring about their parents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]lol at "genetic gene"[/quote]

As opposed to all those non-genetic genes out there.
 :lol: [/quote]

Autism gene is pretty strong….. even the high functioning one…. No executive functioning, no ability to care or see needs, can’t cover date well about real stuff, little situational awareness, no remembering how to do things that aren’t fascinating… [/quote]

I know plenty of people with autism who are accomplished, loyal and deeply care about family members. But they do have trouble reading social cues and be somewhat oblivious to the needs of others without a little prodding. However, as they are so literally minded, with a little direction, they can be amazing, helpful and caring family members.[/quote]
Have you ever lived with one of them for long?[/quote]

30 years 
20 years 
13 years

I think that qualifies right?

But I hear ya - man, it is not always a walk in the park … [/quote]

I wish we could talk.  I watched my sister turn into a shell with her aspie husband and sons. One still lives at home, other is divorced. It’s been 40 years for her, most not know what was going on with them, but hopefully it’s a different era now for all of that. [/quote]

Yes there is much more help available now especially for younger generation - social skills groups, more understanding from educators, and general awareness of neurological diversity:

My HFA (high functioning autism) children have close friends, senses of humor, and work hard. They do need a lot of quiet time to recover from dealing with stresses of each day.  I provide a lot of structure and consistency in the home as they do better with clear routines and expectations. Adult child happily married and fortunately spouse is amazing / kind, understanding and sensible.

Hardest is DH who did not get early interventions .I still have to womansplain a Lot of basic common sense social skills to him which he listens to and acts upon. However, he carries frustrations of being misunderstood and Mishandled when younger and got away with angry outbursts. I set firm boundaries and let him know it is not ok to take frustrations out on me or DC. He is very loyal and smart, which helps us find ways to deal with the social gaps.

I did a lot of therapy for myself and family therapy. I keep up my own friends and attend church regularly.

I really hope your sister finds ways now to deal with this. I am so sorry she has shut down parts of herself and pray she finds ways to feel joy and connection. [/quote]

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