Reply to Would you date a bisexual man?

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[quote=Anonymous]Probably not. And no, that doesn't make me bi-phobic. I would be (and am) friends with bi people, I support the marriages of bi people, I support the acceptance and rights of bi people, I think it's important to recognize the existence and validity of bi people and I don't tolerate anti-bi comments or opinions in my social circle.

But I'm highly unlikely to date a bi guy because I don't think I have the right attraction profile for it. I will never be interested in an open relationship. I am not interested in threesomes. I am an abuse and sexual assault survivor and have issues around that, which make me feel less willing to experiment sexually or in relationships. Yes, I know not all bi people want open relationships or threeesomes. But the odds are much higher, especially in a longterm relationships. I would not want to become involved with a bi person only to fall in love and then find in a year or two that they are not happy longterm with an exclusively hetero, monogamous relationship. I think it would not be fair to either of us.

To me, it would be like dating men who affirmatively do not want kids, even though I definitely do. Our interests aren't aligned.

But the reason I say "probably" and not "definitely" not is that I do know some bi people who are just very in touch with their sexuality and would have no trouble in a longterm relationship (or even marriage) with a person of one gender, and never having an open relationship. It's just that they acknowledge that their attraction is not limited to people of one gender. It's just that in my experience, bi individuals like this are very rarely, if ever, men. I think because of the taboos around masculinity and gayness in straight culture. Bi women are much more likely to identify as bi but still be perfectly happy longterm in a straight relationship, and just exploring their bisexuality in ways that they don't act on it. But even that is rare! I have just found that most bi people are bi because they actively want to have sex with people of different genders and I'm not into that so it's just not a good fit for me.[/quote]

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