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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s just a ring. Why do you feel like it’s a dealbreaker?[/quote]

I think it’s important to many people in the way wearing a tux or nice suit and wedding dress at a wedding is important to many grooms and brides. Some people really don’t care but lots of people enjoy the traditional aspects of an engagement and wedding. An engagement ring (expensive or not) carries sentimental value and is a physical representation of the couple moving onto another, more serious, phase of life together. For many, saying “yes” and wearing an engagement ring is a significant milestone they look forward to.

Personally, I think if there is something your partner is really excited about and if that thing doesn’t overextend you in any way, you should try to honor your partners wishes. You should never go into debt over an engagement ring but I don’t think one partner should write it off as unimportant just because they don’t get what the whole big deal is. It’s important to your future spouse who you, presumably, love! At least making an effort to do something meaningful for them is important. [/quote]

+1. Sick of posters pretending they’ve never heard of an engagement ring before. OP have you not brought up wanting one? Why???[/quote]

99% of posters agreed with OP that wanting a ring is fine and him refusing is a red flag until she explained she wants a ring that he can pay off in a few years when he starts making $500k/year.

There's a pretty good chance this guy would be happy to buy her a ring if she'd accept one that he can afford.  But she wants him to go into debt for it and has decided he doesn't value her as a wife if he won't.[/quote]

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