Reply to This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] OP here, and I am mystified/fascinated that people are intent on hypothesizing that this was a totally fictional. I understand that this brings up a lot for people reading it. But it is pot-calling-the-kettle-black delusional to defend your fears of infidelity by insisting that the AP and DH’s relationship literally did not exist.[/quote]

I think people believe that OP has a very different view of this relationship than her AP, and has blown it up in her head because she really does sound delusional and like she lives in her own head.  Every post describing her “relationship” glorifies what she believes her and her AP shared in an extremely unbelievable way - it’s like AP knew what he needed to say to keep the sec going, and she is holding onto those nuggets and replaying them in her head years later because she has not had a healthy, mutual relationship so that she can tell the difference.  OP does sound unstable in this regard, and very likely had dysfunctional family relationships and/or was abused (sexually or otherwise).  AP has made it clear she has no role in his life and she needs to accept that, move on and get herself help.  She’s continuing to live in her head years after AP was done and it’s so damaging.[/quote]

I agree that OP has built this relationship to be more than it was in her head. I'm not sure it's an abuse history.

I think it's more a personality disorder given her inability to accept the situation , clinging onto it for years , inflated sense of her importance in her life, her attempts to portray herself as a victim, loves posts that empathize with her as a victim, plays coy or insulted with people who don't feed into her game and  call her out and then there's her repeated attempts to get attention with her multiple threads on the topic.

She may have been abused but that's not a definite.[/quote]

I mean, you could just ask her, or continue this cross-talk to increase the self-importance dopamine hit you need to assure yourself that another soul cares what you think about anything. You’ve got options. [/quote]

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