Reply to Am I Asking Husband To Do Too Much?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. I want to make this clear my husband is not controlling or violent in any way. He has never attacked me or even thought of raising a hand to me like the other pp suggested. He would never do that. He is very specific with what he likes, but he is not controlling. The baby getting breast milk during this time is very important to him. I don’t mind pumping during the day, but I would supplement and stop pumping at night.

We are both white and American. I worked 40 hours before baby and everything was divided equally for the most part. We ate out a lot more, and he would clean up when I did cook. I’ve been cooking because I want the best nutrition for myself and the baby.

We do take of his parents. I’ve been helping more. They’re elderly and I will usually go over once a week and help with cleaning, laundry, and meals for them. I will do their grocery shopping.

I had a talk with him last night after all the responses. I told him how I felt. He said he never knew because I would never express any of these feelings ( which is true). I know part of it is my fault because I wanted to feel like I can handle it all on my own. My husband did for 8 weeks while I pumped and recovered from birth. I didn’t want to seem like a failure.

I told him pumping during the night isn’t working and I’m supplementing. I’m mentally breaking down. He said do what I want. We will start supplementing tomorrow. I talked with my LC and we worked out a schedule to drop pumps.

I will be working on getting baby down for naps. He slept on his own until 8 weeks. He became alert and then it was difficult to put him down. We do play but it’s never for more than 20 minutes at a time. It’s usually tummy time, 10 minutes on the play mat, and looking around. I read 1-2 books a day to him.

I told him he needs to step it up. I had a talk with a friend who has a baby a couple of weeks older and her husband does so much. I had him ( we’re all friends) talk with him about everything. He grew up with a SAHM mom who did everything for them and his dad. His dad never cooked his own meals, childcare, or did his own laundry.

I’m hoping things change. I will be working from home PT and we will be being a nanny. I’m hoping we can find a nanny who can help with the nap issues, and do things around the house - baby bottles ( we soak and then sterilize everyday), laundry, and a quick clean.

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