Reply to Am I Asking Husband To Do Too Much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Team DH here. An infant that little doesn’t require much. I doubt it takes you all day to do all of those things. Cleaning maintenance only tasks an hour a day tops. [/quote]

:lol:  :lol:  :lol: and where is the rolling around laughing one?[/quote]

[b]Clearly you never exclusively pumped for an infant who wouldn’t nap unless being held[/b]. This was my mat leave. Feed baby, change baby, pump while entertaining baby in bouncer or floor toys. Pray they don’t need to move around too much (harder as they get older and more curious.) grab whatever you can to eat or drink before attempting to put baby down for nap 1/4. End up sitting with them in chair so they nap for more than 15 minutes. Repeat. Do most of the night feedings - baby woke up like 4-5 times a night- because I was “home.” The sleep deprivation is real, as much as a joy parenting is, and exclusive pumping on top of a not well sleeping baby is HARD.

OP, I too had to pump like 8 times a day to build my supply. Struggled with the same things you did with my husband- I was “home” so it was all my job even though I was busy all day between taking care of the baby and pumping (and cleaning/preparing the endless amounts of bottles and pump parts) and taking care of the house the best I could. exclusive pumping adds a lot of stress. I don’t wish I hadn’t done it, but I don’t know if I’d do it again without at least supplementing. The fact that your husband is a jerk about that is unreasonable because it falls solely on you. If you are struggling or depressed, something has to give- you need more help, be it from your DH or outside help, or you can give up pumping and get more time back to do other things like chores and sleep, god forbid. [/quote]

I find these cases of babies who won’t nap unless being held interesting.  It seems like this type of scenario is only possible in a household with a woman at home without a job and the ability to outsource all chores.  Having a baby sleep on your hours and hours a day just isn’t possible for most women.  So to read post after post about this on here makes me wonder.  I question whether this is really necessary.  It seems like the recent trend of pumping, which is extremely taxing and again, not necessary.  Pumping all the time is only something a woman can do when she is staying home and has few other responsibilities or has a cushy office job with a pumping room.

I wouldn’t cater to a baby who only takes naps on me.  Maybe for a week or two, but after that they would simply have to deal with the crib.  I have a job, other children and responsibilities.  I don’t think it’s a good habit to start and it simply isn’t sustainable.

[/quote]

I mean maybe you're right, but it certainly isn't uncommon for a baby not to nap in a crib until 3-4 months.  And even if there's some way for OP to figure it out, that's MORE work (physical and mental) on her part to get it established, not less.  I did get my baby to nap in a crib starting at around 10 weeks, but that was after a lot of work "practicing" putting him down, watching the clock, repeated disrupted naps, etc.  No matter what you remember, there are no hours-long naps in a crib for the vast majority of 10 week olds.  [/quote]

Again, only well off women who are at home with few other responsibilities can allow a child to nap on them for months.

Your baby can’t even talk or walk.  It’s not in charge of where it sleeps.  Simply put the baby down. Babies want to sleep and eventually it will.  Babies cry.  It’s what they do.  Just don’t let the baby wail and wail and it’s fine. This don’t let the baby cry under any condition is only something a privileged woman can support.

If you want your baby to nap on you, then keep doing what you’re doing OP. [/quote]

I'm sure childrearing practices are different everywhere based on every woman's particular resources and culture.  OP could just put her baby down and ignore it except for feeding times - I'm sure some cultures do that!  Conversely other cultures wear the baby 24/7 while going about their business.  In fact, I'm sure it's far more common to wear the baby constantly than it is to put a newborn down for hours at a time.  The fact is - newborns need to be held a lot, or the cry.  I don't know how long ago you had your babies, but it's still true.  This is a newborn, not even 6 month sold yet.

And the more important point is that even if OP were to "nap train" that would still be a) work and b) not suddenly give her oodles of leisure time.  [/quote]

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