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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Girlfriend Cheated On Me"
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[quote=Anonymous]None of this has to do with slutshaming or OP being a misogynist. For all of modern human history, until 20 years ago, people would never have been sleeping with one person while exploring the possibility of dating someone else at 5+ dates. Why? Because it was a polite thing that made people more comfortable. Someone before said that their grandparents generation would have dated lots of people at once - that what OP's GF did isn't new. But taking multiple girls out at once to a movie is very different than having sex with one person while dating someone else. This is a totally new concept since the era of texting and dating apps. Texting and dating apps ushered in an era of instant gratification, where you're entitled to what you want when you want. All that said, there is nothing "slutty" (worst word ever) about the GF's behavior. But it does speak to a quality of her character. I'm not saying "good" quality or "bad" quality. But maybe speaks to qualities of self-interest, impulsivity, and lower empathy. These sound like "bad" qualities, but these qualities are actually ideal for some people while others wouldn't find them attractive. Like, I don't like people with TOO MUCH empathy - and prefer someone on low emotion/empathy side. Some people love 'fly by the seat of their pants' impulsive people, while others prefer someone very predictable. It's the whole "there's someone for everyone" concept. OP is uncomfortable with learning this about his GF. Absolutely nothing he said suggests that he thinks she's a "slut" or dislikes her past level of sexual activity. It is wholly reasonable that he feels like this omission on his GF's part suggests character traits about his GF that are contrary to what he believed her to be. They haven't been dating very long, and it's still very much in the time period where you can potentially find out your SO is quite a different person than you thought they were. That's where OP is, and he's wise to not break up with her but to extend his marriage timeline a bit to make sure he continues to get to know her. [/quote]
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