Reply to Dating advice for divorced dad

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Dating advice for divorced dad"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=ddintysons]OP,

I was like you and here are the major points I learned about dating as a divorced dad:

1)  Try dating outside your go-to "type" when possible.  All of my long term relationships (including my the one with the XDW) were with outgoing blondes or redheads.  About six months after my divorce, I dated a shy woman who had emigrated from sub-Saharan Africa.  She showed me so much about art, culture, food, and the world that I would have never known without meeting her.

2)  Most divorced moms are not looking for a man to spend huge amounts of money on them.  They are looking for a man they can spend time with who is not someone else they have to take care of and manage.  What do I mean? Understand that normally they only get one weekend out of every two away from being a full-time mom – so plan time together where she does not have to cook (e.g., send out for pizza, cook for her, or find take-out food you like together) and can get other things done while spending time with you (e.g., she can have a load of wash running while you two watch Netflix and have sex.)  For example, if the two of you were going to a party in her neighborhood, stop by Total Wine and be the guy who brings wine for the party gift and for you two later.

3) She wants to have fun within the bounds of knowing that the kids are returning at 5:00 pm on Sunday.  There are a million fun things you can do from 5:00 pm on Friday to 5:00 pm on Sunday and she will likely be up for most of them.

As far as your kids, here are some points that will make life better

1)	Right now, block out your time with them on your work calendar.  If you have them on Wednesdays and every other weekend, then block this time out and push to make sure you do not schedule meetings, etc. during these windows.  Work harder on Monday and Tuesday to make sure you have Wednesday beginning at 5:00 pm completely free.

2)	Make your own connections to your kids’ teachers and the parents of their friends.  Do not rely on your EXDW to keep you in the loop as to who they are friends with and how school is going for them.

3)	Make sure they bring schoolwork when they come to your place for your weekend.  It will help you stay involved in how they are doing and make sure that you have more to do with them then just trips to the mall and movies.

4)	If you are not being taken advantage of, help your EXDW by taking the kids on nights or weekends when she need help.  First, and most important, it shows your kids that you consider spending with them a pleasure, and not a burden.  Second, you will not worry if you ever need her to return the favor.

Good luck.  You will be happier, and they will be happier once you get into you new routine and you find someone who can enjoy on your solo weekends.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics