Reply to Resentful that ILs only want to help DH’s son and not mine

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No offense but I am a step grandparent and I want to offer a few reasons as to why those in my position choose NOT to extend any financial help to step grandchildren. First, there really is nothing in it for step grandparents emotionally to invest in their step grandchildren. It’s no different than donating to charity because this could be any persons child. Second, the return on investment is also nil, financially speaking. With your own grandchildren, you see upward mobility or continued success and can feel proud of it. With step grandchildren, it doesn’t carry through future generations. There are people who do try to treat everyone equally but it just creates resentment to put on a facade. Hope this helps OP.[/quote]

Presumably your son or daughter loves this child.  The child is part of the family your child is building. [/quote]

Until they divorce and the stepparent never sees the kid again. [/quote]

I don’t know any adults who care for step grandparents. There is nothing it for those grandparents. [/quote]

How distastefully...transactional.

I don't know how young you have kids in your family but my grandparents (and step grandparents) had passed of old age before I was an adult.  It usually falls to kids to take care of their own parents.

At least, in warm loving families that welcome their children's spouses and kids with open arms and hearts.  [/quote]

It goes both ways. If someone wrote on DCUM that she or he was being asked to contribute or care for a step grandparent, I would imagine that posters would say said someone has no obligation because there’s no Blood kinship. Doesn’t matter how much resources were invested in the step grandchildren. So no, I wouldn’t actually invest anything in step grandchildren. Maybe buy an ice cream but that’s about it.[/quote]

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